May 9, 2008 - A Renewed Sense of Self

I'm kinda down right now...but it will be ok. I've just had two really amazing weekends back to back, and I won't get to climb outside again until Memorial Day weekend...bummer!

I remember it use to take weeks after climbing for my high to come down. Now, I hit rock bottom like the day after. It sux.

Anyways, I'll be at The New River Gorge all Memorial weekend. Super stoked about it!

There are all new routes in the gym now too, so I pretty much suck again. lol However, there is this one route that I'm starting to get up now. They haven't even rated the new routes yet. I don't even know. I guess I don't really care. I just get in there and climb. The gym is harder in a different way than outdoors. I just need a steady gym climbing partner though. :(

Anyways, two weekends ago, I went up to Table Rock and went climbing and camping with these two dudes I met off www.rockclimbing.com. Doug and Jason. We were supposed to go into the Linville Gorge, but we didn't. Doug just had a cast removed from his ankle, and after all the approach hiking at Table on that Friday, he decided he better not do that hike into the Gorge. So we climbed at Table again on Saturday. I'm glad we did too, b/c it poured down rain on us. I was rappelling in the rain. It sucked. My auto block keeps sticking too tight or something...but I'm just not ready to rap down w/o a back-up...I don't think I ever will either, not safe. Anyways, so I had to do my first rap down in the rain! I was so glad we weren't down in the Gorge!!! That would've really sucked!

I had a blast with these guys though. They are the funniest people! I really hope I get to climb with them again sometime. I miss screwing around on the radios and talkin' smack about each other while were climbing. I miss joking and clowning on Jason. I kept telling him he was my pain in the ass little brother, and he kept saying that I was that really older sister that he never wanted! LOL! It was just the craziest weekend ever.

Jason and me:

Doug and Jason on top of North Ridge:

I really loved the climbs we did at Table. They were all mostly beginner climbs. But it felt really nice to actually follow and clean and still have a lot of fun for a change and not freak out the entire time. lol

This was my first time trailing a rope up for a third to follow. It is hard. Now, I kinda know what it feels like for the leader I suppose. That rope gets heavy!

This is me seconding up Peek-a-Boo:

I swear the first pitch of Second Stanza is not a 5.6! That shit was hard as hell.

It was ridiculous cleaning Doug's gear. LOL He placed so much gear...

I mean, he really didn't have the right gear on him. He needed larger pieces, but he lead the route anyways. lol So, I'll give him that! He has some balls!!!

We still had a blast though. I kept climbing and was like, "Shit!" "God, there's so much f***ing gear!" "This is ridiculous!" "F**k!" "This is not a 5.6." haha It was great! At one point when I finally made it to the top of one the flakes, I actually laid on top of it hugging it. Resting for dear life:

These guys were cool. I liked climbing with them too because it was laid back. We weren't in a hurry to do the next pitch or the next route. We just hung out at the top, gazing about...laughing and talking...just enjoying the moment...together. It was great!

That Sunday, we all went skydiving! That was the most amazing experience ever in my life! What a rush!!! I absolutely loved it. I did not want that day to end!

Me and my instructor, Fred:

I look so old and rough with no make-up in these pics!

I was fine on the plane up. I was more nervous to be videoed. But then I see these stills that were taken:

Don't you just love my goggles? lol

Reality kicked in at this moment:

Me and Doug after:

This was the best weekend ever!

Doug and Jason: They jump solo.

I'll post my video soon as I figure out how to make a dvd into a movie file on my pc! I need a rip program and to convert it.

This past weekend, I climbed up at Looking Glass again with Jill from SheClimbs. We had a great time on Second Coming. I loved that climb. LAter we called it a day when she down-climbed to her first piece and it popped out of the wall and she fell. She wasn't hurt or anything, but I was totally shaken up about it.

I met a chic from Alabama online today and we are going to climb together soon, hopefully. I'm jonesin'!

I just love clmbing! I love it for the sport of it, and the rush I get or the high. I love it because it is fun. I also do it for the mental aspect of it all. I've changed a lot as a person sicne I've been climbing. I feel like I don't take things as serious as I use to or get so uptight or high strung. When you're up so high looking out at a beautiful scene, you realize how small you are and how worrying over things is just plain dumb. Especially when you jump out of an airplane at 13,000 feet up...you just can't take everything in life so serious all the time. You gotta keep it simple.

I'm realizing that life is just a big puzzle, and the older I get I'm just gathering all the pieces and fitting it all together. Somedays, I still don't know everything about who I am, but I don't really care anymore. I'm evolving all the time.

A lot of my old friends have asked me why do I climb? Well, it all kinda started out with me just wanting to try the wall at the gym. Then of course, I got hooked. But over the last years or so, I've needed a personal change in my life. I want to evolve. I want to learn as much as I can and just reinvent myself all the time. Sure a lot of the things I want to do are risky, but I could just as easily get killed in a car accident on the way to work after laying on the couch all weekend not doing shit! You know? So what the hell?

Climbing does something to me. It brings about so many emotions inside me. I challenge myself mentally and physically. I feel so accomplished after I climb. It's my get away. When I am climbing I am not thinking about anything else. After I climb I am amazed at the beauty of it all and at the challenges i've conquered...things I thought were never possible. It makes me return home with a brand new awakening on life. I'm more confident...ready to fight hard in the battles at work and in my every day life, etc. and to prove myself...all over again!

Everyone has to have some kind of an outlet. Climbing has become mine. There is no other peace I feel than that peace when the wind whips around me as I'm sitting at the top of the pitch looking out at the most amazing scenery God has created for us. Nature and its beauty...the wind blowing on my skin...no thoughts soaring through my head except for feeling of accomplishment and enlightenment.