"Can’t close my eyes
They’re wide awake
Ev’ry hair on my body has got a thing for this place
Oh empty my heart I’ve got to make room for this feeling
so much bigger than me
It couldn’t be any more beautiful - I can’t take it in.
Weightless in love...unraveling
For all that’s to come and all that’s ever been
We’re back to the board
with every shade under the sun
Let’s make it a good one
It couldn’t be any more beautiful - I can’t take it in."
- Can’t Take It In by Imogen Heap
About Me
- SueBear
- “The moment inbetween what you once were, and who you are now becoming, is where the dance of life really takes place.” ~ Barbara De Angelis "Nothing happens without personal transformation." I decided one day I wanted to change. I wanted more from life. I realized that if you want more, YOU have to make it happen. You have to go to it and create it. The most powerful weapon against a mediocre life is practice. And just like a fire, the human spirit needs to be lit again each day.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
March 21, 2008 - Bouldering at RB
Insanity is defined as: doing the same thing over and over but expecting a different outcome.
This may seem true of bouldering. You think, "These dudes are insane. They keep doing the same thing over and over only to fall again in the same spot. Ridiculous!" However, it’s not really like that. We do the same thing over and over only to expect ONE outcome, which of course would be to send the damn boulder. To conquer it! And the worst part, it’s highly addictive.
So...I bouldered (or atleast tried) up at Rumbling Bald today with my new friend, Santana.
I climbed on a boulder problem that I tried back last September that took me forever to do back then. Today, I just went right up the thing, no problem. I can definitely tell a huge difference.
I tried some really neat problems. Bouldering is really hard. It is very challenging and fun. AND very frustrating! lolI try hard not to get so pissed off. Jeez!
I was finally able to do a manuever that involved putting my left foot’s heel up high. I’m not sure if it was really considered a heel hook or not, but it was fun. I didn’t think I would be able to do it, but I did.
There was one boulder that invloved a lot of friction climbing. I don’t know, I guess I tried that boulder about 15 times? I never sended it. :(
I tried like hell though.
I have a ton of scrapes and bruises.
Santana kept showing how to use my arms. I need to let them hang long/extended. I keep pulling myself up to my hands. It wears you out. I was making things way harder than they needed to be. haha But it’s kind of like ...there is just this pad down there to fall on, you know? I guess i keep going to a lock mode or something because I don’t want to fall. I need to practice that.
I also need to work on strength, etc. to be bale to move up the boulder from a sitting position. Very hard! I tried a few of those out, and I can’t even get my ass off the ground!!!
So, I’ll start practicing those at the gym.
LAter in the afternoon, we were walking around looking for boulders. We ran up on these 3 dudes. I’m not really sure that I’m going to get their names spelled right here, but here goes....Anthony, Dorian(?) and Emil(?). They are from New Hampshire. They were very nice and let Santana work in with them on this one boulder. (I don’t boulder so I have no clue what grade or the name of it) I had fun watching all them trying it out. They got me up on it. haha I did another heel hook maneuver thingy but the left handhold above me was this little crimp. It was hard, and I fell. It was fun though.
Then the 5 of us went over to another boulder area together. That was my last climb where I finally did a little heel hook action I mentioned earlier on in this blog. There was a climb beside mine called The Egg or something, anyways, I just watched them all climb and videoed and took some photos. They told me to give it a try. It wasn’t really in my range, but I gave it a shot. Of course, it was a sitting position starting out with a right foot hold and a left heel hook. I couldn’t even get my ass out of the sitting position! haha It was fun to try though.
I really did have a great time watching these guys have so much fun bouldering. And I really appreciate my friend, Santana, taking time out to show me stuff today.
I also learned what the little loop thing on my chalk bag was for! A toothbrush!!! haha I have always wondered what that thing was for. I knew it was for holding something, but I had no clue what! Now I know! hehe
Cheers to bouldering! Cheers to meeting new people, always! Cheers to getting out of my comfort zone again! Cheers to relaxing in a warm bath! My arms are so freakin’ sore.
Here are some pics of those dudes climbing that one boulder, the Egg or whatever...:
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
March 14, 2008 - Stuck in a Moment lyrics by U2
I’m not afraid
Of anything in this world
There’s nothing you can throw at me
That I haven’t already heard
I’m just trying to find
A decent melody
A song that I can sing
In my own company
I never thought you were a fool
But darling, look at you. Ooh.
You gotta stand up straight, carry your own weight
’Cause tears are going nowhere baby
You’ve got to get yourself together
You’ve got stuck in a moment
And now you can’t get out of it
Don’t say that later will be better
Now you’re stuck in a moment
And you can’t get out of it
I will not forsake
The colors that you bring
The nights you filled with fireworks
They left you with nothing
I am still enchanted
By the light you brought to me
I listen through your ears
Through your eyes I can see
You are such a fool
To worry like you do.. Oh
I know it’s tough
And you can never get enough
Of what you don’t really need now
My, oh my
You’ve got to get yourself together
You’ve got stuck in a moment
And you can’t get out of it
Oh love, look at you now
You’ve got yourself stuck in a moment
And you can’t get out of it
Oh lord look at you now
You’ve got yourself stuck in a moment
And you cant gt out of it
I was unconscious, half asleep
The water is warm ’til you discover how deep
I wasn’t jumping, for me it was a fall
It’s a long way down to nothing at all
You’ve got to get yourself together
You’ve got stuck in a moment
And you can’t get out of it
Don’t say that later will be better
Now you’re stuck in a moment
And you can’t get out of it
And if the night runs over
And if the day won’t last
And if your way should falter
Along this stony pass
It’s just a moment
This time will pass
Of anything in this world
There’s nothing you can throw at me
That I haven’t already heard
I’m just trying to find
A decent melody
A song that I can sing
In my own company
I never thought you were a fool
But darling, look at you. Ooh.
You gotta stand up straight, carry your own weight
’Cause tears are going nowhere baby
You’ve got to get yourself together
You’ve got stuck in a moment
And now you can’t get out of it
Don’t say that later will be better
Now you’re stuck in a moment
And you can’t get out of it
I will not forsake
The colors that you bring
The nights you filled with fireworks
They left you with nothing
I am still enchanted
By the light you brought to me
I listen through your ears
Through your eyes I can see
You are such a fool
To worry like you do.. Oh
I know it’s tough
And you can never get enough
Of what you don’t really need now
My, oh my
You’ve got to get yourself together
You’ve got stuck in a moment
And you can’t get out of it
Oh love, look at you now
You’ve got yourself stuck in a moment
And you can’t get out of it
Oh lord look at you now
You’ve got yourself stuck in a moment
And you cant gt out of it
I was unconscious, half asleep
The water is warm ’til you discover how deep
I wasn’t jumping, for me it was a fall
It’s a long way down to nothing at all
You’ve got to get yourself together
You’ve got stuck in a moment
And you can’t get out of it
Don’t say that later will be better
Now you’re stuck in a moment
And you can’t get out of it
And if the night runs over
And if the day won’t last
And if your way should falter
Along this stony pass
It’s just a moment
This time will pass
March 10, 2008 - Anusara Yoga Workshop w/ John Friend
This past weekend, I attended John Friend's Anusara Yoga Workshop.
It was an amazing experience, let me tell you!
A whole weekend of yoga! :)
A whole weekend of spiritual awakening!
"Anusara means 'flowing with grace' by saying YES to the whole magical spectrum of life." - John Friend
John Friend developed this style of yoga. "Anusara yoga is one of the fastest growing and most sophisticated forms of yoga taught today."
"This style of yoga is known for its ability to 'Open the Heart' while aligning the physical form of the pose to its most elegant and artistic form. Each class is based on a philosophical theme woven through the class, by using precise bio-mechanical Principles of Alignment. These themes apply not only to our yoga practice but, more importantly, encourage us to live our yoga off the mat...to celebrate and align with the beauty and auspiciousness found in every day life."
I am so glad I participated in this workshop. I learned a lot more about myself.
I learned so much more about the yoga that I have been practicing for about 2 years now.
I bought a book at the workshop titled, Eastern Body, Western Mind. I can't wait to start reading it.
I just love learning new things...about life, love, people and about myself.
March 5, 2008 - Rock 101 w/ Fox Guides
I'll start this blog off with a quote.
"The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do."
So...I am learning how to climb and now I want to learn about the gear, the knots, the anchors, everything, etc. right?
Now, I have been climbing more in the gym and have been lucky to have met folks who climb outdoors, etc. Meeting folks who climb safe is important to me. That is why I hired Fox for my first time, and that is why I hired them again for a skills course. I want to learn more and feel safe at the same time.
Now, I have been climbing more in the gym and have been lucky to have met folks who climb outdoors, etc. Meeting folks who climb safe is important to me. That is why I hired Fox for my first time, and that is why I hired them again for a skills course. I want to learn more and feel safe at the same time.
It is not lame to hire a guiding service. Especially not lame since I hired Fox Mountain Guides.
Fox Mountain Guides
Go there and you can see their website. They are awesome! The website says enough.
I'm curious lately. I want to second and clean now. That's what I feel like I'm ready for right now. I really like it. I like the challenge of doing several pitches too. I would also like to top rope on some 9s and 10s outside, since now I'm seconding and cleaning on 7s and 8s. Those are still difficult for me! If I knew someone I could go climb with every weekend, I would go. It's not that I can't go climb every weekend or even during the week, it's finding someone who knows their shit to go climb with! Everyone has a life and people are busy...
"If your ship doesn't come in, swim out to it."
The course I took this weekend was called Rock 101.
Other folks canceled, so I got a one-on-one instructor for 2 days for the same price I would've normally paid. :)
The course I took this weekend was called Rock 101.
Other folks canceled, so I got a one-on-one instructor for 2 days for the same price I would've normally paid. :)
My instructor:
(Karsten Delap) It was great too. It was also very much worth the money!
There is a lot to learn with climbing. There is a lot to learn so that you are safe!
I'm just ready to learn a little bit more. So, I had a two day, one-on-one instructor this past weekend. I actually prefer that now, if I'm paying money. There is no group. There is no waiting around. It's just me and the instructor. I can ask all the questions I want and climb what I want, etc.
We climbed a lot. (for me, it was a lot!) He taught me so much this weekend. Not just showing me stuff or doing it all for me, but explaining things. Explaining the why's and the why not's! I seconded him and cleaned on each climb. So that is what I learned. I learned how a leader would set the anchor, and I learned about different anchors...the "anchor system" and how it works. I got my clove hitch knot down, finally, and how to anchor myself in at the belay station. All of this gear stuff and dealing with equipment takes me forever to learn. It's so overwhelming! We went over rappelling. I also learned more about my prusik cord. I got very comfortable with rappelling. I used to be very afraid of it. Some of this may seem so basic and simple to most of you guys who climb, but as a beginner, I'm trying to learn this as well as learning techniques with manuevers and footwork, etc. so it is a lot to learn.
I'm sure some of this I may forget, but it was worth it. I don't really plan to not use it and lose it. :)
I asked about setting top ropes, and it was verbally explained briefly, etc. However, we did not actually set up a top rope and I did not climb on any top ropes this weekend. I climbed all multi-pitch. I got to second and clean again. When I found out that I was the only one going on the cousre because of cancellations, that's what I asked for. I wanted to do all multi-pitch. I did not want to top-rope. That's the cool thing about hiring guides too. Even though it was a skills course, it is designed around what the client wants to learn as well.
I'm sure hanging a top-rope really isn't that difficult, but after yoga class Monday night, I felt really overwhelmed. I was trying to explain some of the things I had learned. I had anxiety as if I had studied really hard for a test and couldn't remember jack when I got to the classroom kind of anxiety.
So, I got sort of frustrated. Just because I paid for a two day course doesn't mean that I am going to be an expert with all the gear stuff. Whatever! I don't own any rope yet either...WTF?
Talking about it doesn't frustrate me. I like talking about climbing. I like asking questions. I like learning. I want to talk about it. And though I had an awesome instructor, it was a 101 course folks. I'm not going to know everything right now. I'm not going to come back from this trip knowing all this stuff like the back of my hand. I need practice. Once you get it, yeah it may seem so simple. But it's not at first. Not for me.
And I know once you get it, it's so simple, but then again one mistake can cost you your life, therefore, I need and want to know the why's and the why nots.
That's why I took the course...to learn some skill sets.
I refuse to get frustrated. I'm just going to keep working at it, and it will all connect and make sense soon enough.
I didn't set a top rope this weekend. Sorry to some of my other beginner friends out there. It was explained, but then again, I don't have rope either, so I can't hang a top-rope without rope for you guys to climb on it. Sorry. And with that said, it kind of went in one ear and out the other. I was trynig to learn seconding and cleaning. I'm trying and wanting to get that part down really good, so my partners don't have to set me up each time. You know? I want to know that stuff.
Now with a better understanding of things, when I actually get to physically set a top rope, I will most likely retain that information. And I also orderd 2 books yesterday. One is about top-ropes, the other is on rappelling techniques.
I like mulit-pitch. Right now, I like seconding and cleaning several pitches of a 7 or an 8. I like the one-on-one partnering that you have when you follow someone. I like the fact that I'm in the crux, and that my partner above who is encouraging me just moved through that crux. He/she knows where I am at that moment. And I have a goal to reach. I have to clean his gear and make it up there to him. I push myself more because I WANT to get up to him. You know? Also, I am learning. Everyone has a different learning curve. I also tend to not give up as fast when I am seconding and cleaning. If you're really struggling, your partner can sometimes pull you up just a tad to help get through one move, instead of you asking your belayer below you to lower you and giving up on the rest of the climb all together.
I didn't set a top rope this weekend. Sorry to some of my other beginner friends out there. It was explained, but then again, I don't have rope either, so I can't hang a top-rope without rope for you guys to climb on it. Sorry. And with that said, it kind of went in one ear and out the other. I was trynig to learn seconding and cleaning. I'm trying and wanting to get that part down really good, so my partners don't have to set me up each time. You know? I want to know that stuff.
Now with a better understanding of things, when I actually get to physically set a top rope, I will most likely retain that information. And I also orderd 2 books yesterday. One is about top-ropes, the other is on rappelling techniques.
I like mulit-pitch. Right now, I like seconding and cleaning several pitches of a 7 or an 8. I like the one-on-one partnering that you have when you follow someone. I like the fact that I'm in the crux, and that my partner above who is encouraging me just moved through that crux. He/she knows where I am at that moment. And I have a goal to reach. I have to clean his gear and make it up there to him. I push myself more because I WANT to get up to him. You know? Also, I am learning. Everyone has a different learning curve. I also tend to not give up as fast when I am seconding and cleaning. If you're really struggling, your partner can sometimes pull you up just a tad to help get through one move, instead of you asking your belayer below you to lower you and giving up on the rest of the climb all together.
I learned a lot this weekend. I climbed a chimney this weekend. My first chimney. It was the 2nd pitch of Fruit Loops. I climbed a climb that was very pumpy and just plain weird (Fat Dog). It had crack climbing, lie backing, hand jamming, stemming and face climbing in this climb. It was crazy. It was hard as hell! It was scary and fun at the same time.
I told the instructor what I wanted, and I got it, and then some! These folks are super awesome folks! They are so nice, and they have so much hospitality that I can't even describe.
"Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundess. Kindness in giving creates love."
Love for the rock!!! lol I'm a dork!
So, Karsten took me to Rumbling Bald Saturday. We warmed up on Bee Tree, and i learned to rappel alone. Then we climbed all pitches of Fruit Loops. The 2nd pitch was a chimney! I learned to stem in there. I also learned how to maneuver and how to jam my hands.
So, Karsten took me to Rumbling Bald Saturday. We warmed up on Bee Tree, and i learned to rappel alone. Then we climbed all pitches of Fruit Loops. The 2nd pitch was a chimney! I learned to stem in there. I also learned how to maneuver and how to jam my hands.
This past weekend was my 3rd time up the 1st pitch and my first time up the chimney. I didn't fall on the 1st pitch. I felt way more relaxed this time. My breathing was actually better too. I've been trying to work on that.
So, here's me at the top of the first pitch. It was awesome! I'm inside of the chimney ready to go up!
Here are a few that Karsten took of me in the chimney:
On top of Fruit Loops with Lake Lure in the background:
I love climbing Fruit Loops! It is one of my favorite routes at Rumbling Bald.
We also went over and did Bear Hunt, etc.
I'm not really good at the real balancy face climbing yet. Here's a pic that Karsten took of a guy leading Bear Hunt:
View at the top of Bear Hunt:
(you can see Chimney Rock way off in the distance)My lizard friend:
On Sunday, we went to Looking Glass to the south side. I wanted to get on Fat Dog and Gemini Crack. We did too. :) They were great.
We did Gemini first and then Fat Dog.
This is a one pitch climb. You can break it into several pitches though if you want, but you have to build your own anchors. Karsten broke it out in 3 for me. I did really good on the first pitch. The second pitch was tough, and my ankles were getting really sore. Slab! Damn it! haha But I wanted to finish the climb though, so we did Gemini as 3 pitches. I rested as Karsten was soloing the last pitch. He was really fast. That made it really good for me, since my ankles are still so weak yet. But I made it up:
This is Fat Dog:
A really fun climb!It took me a long time to get up Fat Dog. Poor Karsten! He had to pull me up a lot on this climb. He kept me tight, but I begged to be pulled up at some points. Half of my body was in a chimney/off-width and the other on the face at times. I mean, I was stemming it, lie backing it, just jamming everything to move myself up. It was crazy! I am so glad I did not do this climb back in November. I wasn't ready yet, and besides, I got to second and clean this baby! We only did one pitch.
Fat Dog and the Fruit Loops chimney are sick! (to me) It's the sickest thing I've done yet! Whoo-hoo! OMG! What a weekend!
I had an awesome weekend. I climbed harder and stronger than I ever have before.
I had an awesome weekend. I climbed harder and stronger than I ever have before.
I got to climb some new types of climbs.
Thank you Karsten! Thank you Fox Mountain Guides!
:)
Thank you Karsten! Thank you Fox Mountain Guides!
:)
One last quote for the day:
"Don't wait for time, make time!
Don't wait for love. Feel it.
Don't wait for money. Earn it.
Don't wait for the path. Find it.
Don't wait for opportunity. Create it.
Don't go for less. Get the best.
Don't compare. Be unique.
Don't fight for misfortune. Transform it.
Don't avoid failure. Use it.
Don't dwell on mistakes. Learn from them.
Don't back down. Go around.
Don't close your eyes. Open your mind.
Don't run from life. Embrace it."
- Bigvai Volcy
Monday, November 23, 2009
February 21, 2008 - Sense of Self
Sometimes in life, things make us question our own self-image. Maybe things that have been done to us, experiences, etc. or the way we were brought up...
The main question for me sometimes is: Why don't I have any boundaries? We are out of balance if we are sacrificing for others and hurting ourselves in the process. We need to remember to love and protect ourselves as well.
Sometimes I can be motivated by the dictates of others, and I even worry about what people think of me, even when I've gone the extra mile and then some for these people.
Becoming your own best friend is like any other relationship...it takes time.
Your sense of self is a lens through which you view the world, the people you deal with, and your own behavior. All the information that comes into your mind is processed through your sense of self. The pain we all bear from past hurts is great, and it can accumulate over time. We cannot dump it all at once. It takes time. It takes magic lens. We need to get to the heart of our self-esteem...the messages that form our personal doctrine about ourselves, the habits we use to put ourselves down for, the fear of committing to ourselves and stepping into life as a full human being. Isolate the villians that keep you bound...deal with them one by one.
Take stock of yourself. Knowing yourself means coming to terms with both your strengths and your weaknesses. The road starts with self knowledge.
No type is better than any other type. You may wish you were more like another type of person than yourself, but that does no good. The world needs all types to balance out. If you went to a zoo with all bears that would be boring. Every type has a host of good things! Everyone has strengths and weaknesses. Healthy living comes from using your strengths and working on your weaknesses.
Humility is good. It is good to know your limits. Humility understands that we need each other. All people are precious and that each person has individual gifts that are valuable. Whatever deeds we accomplish, we probably owe a great deal to other people. Humility keeps a balanced sense of self.
"We forfeit three-fourths of ourselves to be like other people." - Arthur Schopenhauer. This is sad but true. Some of our weaknesses are just parts of who we are that cannot be changed. We need to accept the things we cannot change and work on the ones we can. There are rumors that go around in your head...like, "I am no good." or "I'm not smart enough." or "I'm not pretty enough.", etc., etc. Sometimes these problems start b/c of other people. I'm not saying to live in the past, but you need to go back and identify these "villians". Sometimes a seed planted by an important person in your life can be the root of all weaknesses. We build on misunderstandings of the past. We can be convinced of shortcomings that don't even exist.
Misunderstandings occur b/c we are all still learning to read each other. Our personal doctrine becomes based on these misunderstandings. We need to go back and forgive those misunderstandings. We need to renounce their hold on us.
A lot of times, it seems, that someone may be struggling to maintain their own identity. Because of the way someone may have treated you, your sense of identity may still bear a lot of scars. This goes both ways. When you seek out the villians in your life, you cannot say that they are necessarily an evil person. You just say that that person has "damaged" you, and they may have had their own reasons...maybe they had to do what they did b/c of their own villians.
You have to accept the fact that some people do wrong...and sometimes it is for no good reason or no reason at all.
You have to forgive and then cut the cord in order to renounce the past. You cut the cord that connects you to past events. As long as you feel spiteful or vengeful about wrongs that were done to you, you are tied to those wrongs, like a dog on a leash. That leash will keep you from being able to move forward.
As long as you have this sense of spite, you will not be able to move forward into self-acceptance. You will still be fighting old battles. You need to let them rest. Let go.
You need to acknowledge your own weaknesses. No one is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes. You can put it behind you.
The past is irrelevent to who you are now and to who you will be in the future. You should be free from your own self-judgment and become free to love.
If you are your own villian, you must come face to face with your own misdeeds and have the courage to turn away from them, forgive yourself, renounce the power of your past and cut the cords of guilt.
Whether you know it or not, your "villians" succeeded in setting terms. You have agreed to put yourself down as much as possible, or to refrain from doing certain adventurous things, or to refuse to act confidently. By renouncing the power of the past, you are breaking that contract with the "villian". Try something new! Do something you would never have allowed yourself to do before! Go rebuild your personal story.
"It's hard to beat the system when you're standing at a distance..." - John Mayer
Become your own best friend! =)
- Thomas A. Whiteman, Ph.D. & Randy Petersen
* This entire blog minus some of my own words here and there was taken from "Becoming Your Own Best Friend" by Thomas A. Whiteman, PhD & Randy Petersen
I did not try nor intend for these to be my own words. FYI! I do not plagiarize.
The main question for me sometimes is: Why don't I have any boundaries? We are out of balance if we are sacrificing for others and hurting ourselves in the process. We need to remember to love and protect ourselves as well.
Sometimes I can be motivated by the dictates of others, and I even worry about what people think of me, even when I've gone the extra mile and then some for these people.
Becoming your own best friend is like any other relationship...it takes time.
Your sense of self is a lens through which you view the world, the people you deal with, and your own behavior. All the information that comes into your mind is processed through your sense of self. The pain we all bear from past hurts is great, and it can accumulate over time. We cannot dump it all at once. It takes time. It takes magic lens. We need to get to the heart of our self-esteem...the messages that form our personal doctrine about ourselves, the habits we use to put ourselves down for, the fear of committing to ourselves and stepping into life as a full human being. Isolate the villians that keep you bound...deal with them one by one.
Take stock of yourself. Knowing yourself means coming to terms with both your strengths and your weaknesses. The road starts with self knowledge.
No type is better than any other type. You may wish you were more like another type of person than yourself, but that does no good. The world needs all types to balance out. If you went to a zoo with all bears that would be boring. Every type has a host of good things! Everyone has strengths and weaknesses. Healthy living comes from using your strengths and working on your weaknesses.
Humility is good. It is good to know your limits. Humility understands that we need each other. All people are precious and that each person has individual gifts that are valuable. Whatever deeds we accomplish, we probably owe a great deal to other people. Humility keeps a balanced sense of self.
"We forfeit three-fourths of ourselves to be like other people." - Arthur Schopenhauer. This is sad but true. Some of our weaknesses are just parts of who we are that cannot be changed. We need to accept the things we cannot change and work on the ones we can. There are rumors that go around in your head...like, "I am no good." or "I'm not smart enough." or "I'm not pretty enough.", etc., etc. Sometimes these problems start b/c of other people. I'm not saying to live in the past, but you need to go back and identify these "villians". Sometimes a seed planted by an important person in your life can be the root of all weaknesses. We build on misunderstandings of the past. We can be convinced of shortcomings that don't even exist.
Misunderstandings occur b/c we are all still learning to read each other. Our personal doctrine becomes based on these misunderstandings. We need to go back and forgive those misunderstandings. We need to renounce their hold on us.
A lot of times, it seems, that someone may be struggling to maintain their own identity. Because of the way someone may have treated you, your sense of identity may still bear a lot of scars. This goes both ways. When you seek out the villians in your life, you cannot say that they are necessarily an evil person. You just say that that person has "damaged" you, and they may have had their own reasons...maybe they had to do what they did b/c of their own villians.
You have to accept the fact that some people do wrong...and sometimes it is for no good reason or no reason at all.
You have to forgive and then cut the cord in order to renounce the past. You cut the cord that connects you to past events. As long as you feel spiteful or vengeful about wrongs that were done to you, you are tied to those wrongs, like a dog on a leash. That leash will keep you from being able to move forward.
As long as you have this sense of spite, you will not be able to move forward into self-acceptance. You will still be fighting old battles. You need to let them rest. Let go.
You need to acknowledge your own weaknesses. No one is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes. You can put it behind you.
The past is irrelevent to who you are now and to who you will be in the future. You should be free from your own self-judgment and become free to love.
If you are your own villian, you must come face to face with your own misdeeds and have the courage to turn away from them, forgive yourself, renounce the power of your past and cut the cords of guilt.
Whether you know it or not, your "villians" succeeded in setting terms. You have agreed to put yourself down as much as possible, or to refrain from doing certain adventurous things, or to refuse to act confidently. By renouncing the power of the past, you are breaking that contract with the "villian". Try something new! Do something you would never have allowed yourself to do before! Go rebuild your personal story.
"It's hard to beat the system when you're standing at a distance..." - John Mayer
Become your own best friend! =)
- Thomas A. Whiteman, Ph.D. & Randy Petersen
* This entire blog minus some of my own words here and there was taken from "Becoming Your Own Best Friend" by Thomas A. Whiteman, PhD & Randy Petersen
I did not try nor intend for these to be my own words. FYI! I do not plagiarize.
February 13, 2008 - A Change of Lifestyle
So, you all that read my blogs know that I keep saying that nothing truly happens without personal transformation, right?
Well, it takes a lifestyle change literally to do that.
I have been trying some nights to do my yoga at home, but it just isn't the same as when i'm in class. And I have kind of been slacking off on my yoga lately. I could tell Monday night that I was out of shape. I just wasn't as flexible as I normally am and my joints were hurting. Yoga really helps me with my FMS. I swear by it! It really sux if I have to miss my classes. So from here on out, I can't miss class. I need those classes.
Tonight, I just lifted weights instead of climbing. My partners weren't there. It felt good to just lift weights. My friend Fred was there, and he showed me some great machines to work on for climbing and which muscles they would be good for. That helped a lot. I used to lift weights there a lot back in the day, but I quit the gym for a 4 year period or so. I just started back in 2006.
I just want to get stronger. I've just got to get in there every day. It has to be a lifestyle change and I want it. I feel bad for turning people down to do things, but working out and taking care of yourself is really a lifestyle change.
In March on St. Patty's weekend, I'll be at The Red River Gorge climbing with complete strangers. I love it! It is totally out of my comfort zone. I do those things because that's how I feel I will learn and grow. You don't learn anything by staying inside the box. If you step out of your comfort zone once in awhile, you may actually learn a few things...a few things about yourself and about other people too.
Also, the grotto I joined is planning a caving trip on March 8th. I will be caving for the very first time! Yay! I am so excited about it. March seems like my big month this year so far. March 1st weekend is my 101 climbing skills class, the next weekend, I will be caving, the next is climbing at The Red, and the last weekend I am volunteering at MED WAR.
My birthday is next weekend. I want to climb that weekend, but I'm not sure if that will come true for that weekend. I get a free day off from work, so feasibly I could climb 3 days in a row. The 22nd thru the 24th. Ugh!!! Please God! Let me be able to get out of town and climb!!!
I climbed the first weekend this month with Billy again. It was cool. We didn't get to climb much...it rained. But it was very cool hanging out with him again and just talking and just the simple fact of being able to get out of Columbia for the weekend was also great! :)
Getting out of town for the weekend is almost like a fairytale for me. But then the alarm clock goes off Monday morning, and it's back to reality and back to work.
Well, it takes a lifestyle change literally to do that.
I have been trying some nights to do my yoga at home, but it just isn't the same as when i'm in class. And I have kind of been slacking off on my yoga lately. I could tell Monday night that I was out of shape. I just wasn't as flexible as I normally am and my joints were hurting. Yoga really helps me with my FMS. I swear by it! It really sux if I have to miss my classes. So from here on out, I can't miss class. I need those classes.
Tonight, I just lifted weights instead of climbing. My partners weren't there. It felt good to just lift weights. My friend Fred was there, and he showed me some great machines to work on for climbing and which muscles they would be good for. That helped a lot. I used to lift weights there a lot back in the day, but I quit the gym for a 4 year period or so. I just started back in 2006.
I just want to get stronger. I've just got to get in there every day. It has to be a lifestyle change and I want it. I feel bad for turning people down to do things, but working out and taking care of yourself is really a lifestyle change.
In March on St. Patty's weekend, I'll be at The Red River Gorge climbing with complete strangers. I love it! It is totally out of my comfort zone. I do those things because that's how I feel I will learn and grow. You don't learn anything by staying inside the box. If you step out of your comfort zone once in awhile, you may actually learn a few things...a few things about yourself and about other people too.
Also, the grotto I joined is planning a caving trip on March 8th. I will be caving for the very first time! Yay! I am so excited about it. March seems like my big month this year so far. March 1st weekend is my 101 climbing skills class, the next weekend, I will be caving, the next is climbing at The Red, and the last weekend I am volunteering at MED WAR.
My birthday is next weekend. I want to climb that weekend, but I'm not sure if that will come true for that weekend. I get a free day off from work, so feasibly I could climb 3 days in a row. The 22nd thru the 24th. Ugh!!! Please God! Let me be able to get out of town and climb!!!
I climbed the first weekend this month with Billy again. It was cool. We didn't get to climb much...it rained. But it was very cool hanging out with him again and just talking and just the simple fact of being able to get out of Columbia for the weekend was also great! :)
Getting out of town for the weekend is almost like a fairytale for me. But then the alarm clock goes off Monday morning, and it's back to reality and back to work.
February 5, 2008
I have recently met someone who truly inspires me.
I am nervous and giddy around him, yet at the same time totally comfortable.
He treats me with respect, and he has manners.
He is weird, like me. And he gets me. It seems anyways.
I can joke around and tell him anything. It seems nothing shocks him.
I'm attracted to him but totally afraid of him. He is an owner and totally lives outside of the box. It totally scares me but at the same time, it makes me want to be around him all the time. I want to be more like him. He inspires me.
Being around him makes me like myself more...because he is accepting of me. He doesn't judge me.
However, he is unattainable. Not that I am not a good person or good enough, but I am totally afraid of him. Why?
At the same time he is unattainable, I believe he is absolutely perfect for me. He is everything I want.
I'm just not sure that I am everything he would want. It's so hard to be rejected by someone so great and inspiring and so unattainable. I'm not trying to put him on a pedestal either.
I'll just have to wait.
My gut usually lets me know when something isn't right. A lot of the times I may not truly know what my gut is telling me, but for the most part, the only thing that matters is that it tells me something just isn't quite right. That's all one really needs to know. So far, my gut hasn't said a damn thing!!!
Ugh!
I am nervous and giddy around him, yet at the same time totally comfortable.
He treats me with respect, and he has manners.
He is weird, like me. And he gets me. It seems anyways.
I can joke around and tell him anything. It seems nothing shocks him.
I'm attracted to him but totally afraid of him. He is an owner and totally lives outside of the box. It totally scares me but at the same time, it makes me want to be around him all the time. I want to be more like him. He inspires me.
Being around him makes me like myself more...because he is accepting of me. He doesn't judge me.
However, he is unattainable. Not that I am not a good person or good enough, but I am totally afraid of him. Why?
At the same time he is unattainable, I believe he is absolutely perfect for me. He is everything I want.
I'm just not sure that I am everything he would want. It's so hard to be rejected by someone so great and inspiring and so unattainable. I'm not trying to put him on a pedestal either.
I'll just have to wait.
My gut usually lets me know when something isn't right. A lot of the times I may not truly know what my gut is telling me, but for the most part, the only thing that matters is that it tells me something just isn't quite right. That's all one really needs to know. So far, my gut hasn't said a damn thing!!!
Ugh!
January 28, 2008
So, this weekend, I joined a caving grotto. Google it if you don't know what it is. Bascially, you have to join one to learn about caving and to get in on where all the caves are and to get the maps, etc. So, anyways, I joined up.
I'm really excited. After a five hour meeting and watching videos and filmstrip pics of this grotto's trips and such, I was really super excited about going on a caving trip soon. We went over the gear, etc. and clothing for a trip. It will most likely be a horizontal trip. However, my ultimate goal one day would be to go vertical. I need to build up a lot of endurance for a trip like that though. My endurance sux!
I lose a lot of weight when I do cardio. I have a very high metabolism. I am already skinny enough! (I lose a pound just from worry over bills, you know?) But a person's heart needs cardio. So, I will just have to eat way more calories, etc. Because I am starting a cardio routine now. It will start off slow and graduate to a harder work-out. I may look in shape, but I'm not when it comes to endurance, heart rate, etc. I have always hated cardio. But I have a new climbing partner that doesn't mind climbing with a beginner once and awhile, so I don't want to disappoint him. I want to be in shape and be able to get up these pitches and not have to rest on the approaches all the time, etc. I just want to give it my all. There is really no excuse for me not. And I also want to be able to do a vertical caving trip one day!!!
I just paid my deposit for the Rockclimbing 101 skills course coming up in March. I'm excited for that. I will learn more about knots, etc. and about anchoring a top rope. Even though I can't lead right now, I think it would be a good idea for me to learn everything I can. Not only so I know how to do it myself, but so that when I climb with others, I can know for sure we are all climbing safely. I don't want to climb with someone that doesn't climb safe. And if I don't know how to do these things, how will I know? Besides, there is a place called Crowder's Mtn. where you can hang top ropes w/o having to lead a climb.
Right now, I have put off the roller derby. It is way too expensive. There are leagues for so many things, and I have never heard of them being so expensive like this one. I just can't afford it...not when all the climbing stuff I want to do and buy is expensive! You know? I'm really digging the climbing so my money right now is going for that. Besides, we are going into a recession right now. I just want to focus on paying off some bills. I want to get 'em paid off and try to live a simpler life. That way, if one day, I decide hey...I'm moving to Cali...then i can w/o too many worries. ;-)
I think Cali (central coast area) is like my dream place to live. I don't want to live in one of the big cities either. I really liked central coast when I was there. Mountains and ocean! :)
That's all my news for now...
Peace,
Sue:)
I'm really excited. After a five hour meeting and watching videos and filmstrip pics of this grotto's trips and such, I was really super excited about going on a caving trip soon. We went over the gear, etc. and clothing for a trip. It will most likely be a horizontal trip. However, my ultimate goal one day would be to go vertical. I need to build up a lot of endurance for a trip like that though. My endurance sux!
I lose a lot of weight when I do cardio. I have a very high metabolism. I am already skinny enough! (I lose a pound just from worry over bills, you know?) But a person's heart needs cardio. So, I will just have to eat way more calories, etc. Because I am starting a cardio routine now. It will start off slow and graduate to a harder work-out. I may look in shape, but I'm not when it comes to endurance, heart rate, etc. I have always hated cardio. But I have a new climbing partner that doesn't mind climbing with a beginner once and awhile, so I don't want to disappoint him. I want to be in shape and be able to get up these pitches and not have to rest on the approaches all the time, etc. I just want to give it my all. There is really no excuse for me not. And I also want to be able to do a vertical caving trip one day!!!
I just paid my deposit for the Rockclimbing 101 skills course coming up in March. I'm excited for that. I will learn more about knots, etc. and about anchoring a top rope. Even though I can't lead right now, I think it would be a good idea for me to learn everything I can. Not only so I know how to do it myself, but so that when I climb with others, I can know for sure we are all climbing safely. I don't want to climb with someone that doesn't climb safe. And if I don't know how to do these things, how will I know? Besides, there is a place called Crowder's Mtn. where you can hang top ropes w/o having to lead a climb.
Right now, I have put off the roller derby. It is way too expensive. There are leagues for so many things, and I have never heard of them being so expensive like this one. I just can't afford it...not when all the climbing stuff I want to do and buy is expensive! You know? I'm really digging the climbing so my money right now is going for that. Besides, we are going into a recession right now. I just want to focus on paying off some bills. I want to get 'em paid off and try to live a simpler life. That way, if one day, I decide hey...I'm moving to Cali...then i can w/o too many worries. ;-)
I think Cali (central coast area) is like my dream place to live. I don't want to live in one of the big cities either. I really liked central coast when I was there. Mountains and ocean! :)
That's all my news for now...
Peace,
Sue:)
January 17, 2008
I am beyond stoking out of my gore right now dudes!
Seriously!
I heard back today from MED WAR. I have sent in an application form to be a volunteer at the Med War Challenge for the southeast race this year in March.
A friend of mine is actually racing in the race.
It's a Medical Wilderness Adventure Race! Exciting, huh?
I cannot wait. I have been wanting to volunteer lately, and I think I found my calling. I get to camp the whole weekend and meet lots of cool, interesting people, and help people. :)
Joy Joy Joy!
It's going to be great.
I have also recently changed my "Kids Status" on my profile. I'm undecided now instead of just totally not wanting to have any. I went to this really awesome Bodies Exhibit in Charlotte over December holidays. I saw something there that changed me kind of. It was the fetus room. Even at 3 weeks pregant, there is a life form growing. It's real. You can even see fingernails developing, the head just tiny little parts of a real human being. I am still pro choice and always will be, but I don't know...something in me kinda sparked that day seeing all that. And lately, I feel that kids are inspiring little beings. There is so much we can learn from them. They recreate and reinvent themselves every day. We as adults lose that as we get older. It's refreshing being around my nieces. Their imaginations just run wild. It totally amazes me. Even though I am 32, there are a lot of women who are waiting to have kids at later ages. Even if I never fall in love and meet Mr. Right, I can always adopt. There are plenty of orphans out there who need good and caring homes. I was worried this past weekend about something, and my 6 year old niece took my hand and said to me, "Don't worry Aunt Sue, everything will be alright. It's ok. I'll help you." (She was referring to helping me with the twins in the bathroom...sometimes I don't know what to do when it comes to kids! lol Do I have to wipe their butts? Do they already know how to do that? etc. It was just me and my bro that day) She is about to turn 7 and she already seems so grown up for her age. It's amazing. We can learn so much from kids!
I wish I could rewind time and go back and major in education or counseling and work with youth and help them out with just saying no to drugs or whatever. Mentor them and help them in times of need when they don't have parents to count on for stuff like that.
I honestly feel like that is where i'm going to find my "boy scout". It really turns me on when people help others. I think it's a very attractive trait. I'm passionate, and I want to get involved somehow...and maybe someday, I'll meet a nice guy who respects me and treats me like a lady who likes to do the same thing.
While at the same time I'm very liberated and independent woman, I like a guy who respects me and who has manners and treats me wonderfully. I like having doors opened for me or being offered to help carry a huge load. It doesn't mean that I wouldn't return the favor, and it doesn't mean he is belittling me either. Consideration is the key. A true gentleman!
Here is a cool quote I got in my inbox today at work:
"Life is a never ending journey that gets shorter in time, don't waste it on things that won't matter to anyone. Open up your mind to worlds of possibilities where differences and beliefs will be embraced and not thrown away."
Seriously!
I heard back today from MED WAR. I have sent in an application form to be a volunteer at the Med War Challenge for the southeast race this year in March.
A friend of mine is actually racing in the race.
It's a Medical Wilderness Adventure Race! Exciting, huh?
I cannot wait. I have been wanting to volunteer lately, and I think I found my calling. I get to camp the whole weekend and meet lots of cool, interesting people, and help people. :)
Joy Joy Joy!
It's going to be great.
I have also recently changed my "Kids Status" on my profile. I'm undecided now instead of just totally not wanting to have any. I went to this really awesome Bodies Exhibit in Charlotte over December holidays. I saw something there that changed me kind of. It was the fetus room. Even at 3 weeks pregant, there is a life form growing. It's real. You can even see fingernails developing, the head just tiny little parts of a real human being. I am still pro choice and always will be, but I don't know...something in me kinda sparked that day seeing all that. And lately, I feel that kids are inspiring little beings. There is so much we can learn from them. They recreate and reinvent themselves every day. We as adults lose that as we get older. It's refreshing being around my nieces. Their imaginations just run wild. It totally amazes me. Even though I am 32, there are a lot of women who are waiting to have kids at later ages. Even if I never fall in love and meet Mr. Right, I can always adopt. There are plenty of orphans out there who need good and caring homes. I was worried this past weekend about something, and my 6 year old niece took my hand and said to me, "Don't worry Aunt Sue, everything will be alright. It's ok. I'll help you." (She was referring to helping me with the twins in the bathroom...sometimes I don't know what to do when it comes to kids! lol Do I have to wipe their butts? Do they already know how to do that? etc. It was just me and my bro that day) She is about to turn 7 and she already seems so grown up for her age. It's amazing. We can learn so much from kids!
I wish I could rewind time and go back and major in education or counseling and work with youth and help them out with just saying no to drugs or whatever. Mentor them and help them in times of need when they don't have parents to count on for stuff like that.
I honestly feel like that is where i'm going to find my "boy scout". It really turns me on when people help others. I think it's a very attractive trait. I'm passionate, and I want to get involved somehow...and maybe someday, I'll meet a nice guy who respects me and treats me like a lady who likes to do the same thing.
While at the same time I'm very liberated and independent woman, I like a guy who respects me and who has manners and treats me wonderfully. I like having doors opened for me or being offered to help carry a huge load. It doesn't mean that I wouldn't return the favor, and it doesn't mean he is belittling me either. Consideration is the key. A true gentleman!
Here is a cool quote I got in my inbox today at work:
"Life is a never ending journey that gets shorter in time, don't waste it on things that won't matter to anyone. Open up your mind to worlds of possibilities where differences and beliefs will be embraced and not thrown away."
January 13,2008 - Another Journey
"Life is a journey, not a race."
Each time I go out climbing, I always bring back a new Sue. I guess that's why for me, I love it so much.
I learn so much about myself and others.
Like this past weekend, for example, I climbed with a new friend. :)
Each time I go out climbing, I always bring back a new Sue. I guess that's why for me, I love it so much.
I learn so much about myself and others.
Like this past weekend, for example, I climbed with a new friend. :)
It was hard. I am always concentrating on other stupid shit like, "I'm not fast enough...I'm too slow" or "I'm too weak" or "I suck at this". I need to go at my own pace and just stop comparing myself to others. I mean, why compare yourself to someone who isn't a beginner anyways? That is like pure torture! And who cares what others can do and what you can't? Focus on what you can do and use it to the fullest. Anyhoo, I need to focus on gaining confidence, right? How will I do that if I keep knocking myself. Sometimes, I am my own worst enemy.
Anyways, I am motivated by kindness and love (especially 110 feet up on a granite wall). You can be tough on me, but do it kindly and with lots of love, and I'll get better. :)
And that pretty much goes for anything with me I think. (except for roller derby...yes, I went and scoped it out tonight finally...and when Leia yelled out, "Good work ladies!" and then "Move ya bitches" as they were all just warming up on laps...I was instantly quite aroused. I guess I do like some aggression afterall. lol)
After talking about all kinds of stuff with my partner/friend, Billy, this weekend, I learned a lot about myself. I learned about some things that I like about me (weird to hear, huh? yeah, well, I've always kinda had this problem of not liking myself too much), and I also learned about some things I could change. That is always good.
I love talking about things and hashing out over stuff that bugs me with an open- minded person who is kind and loving and very humble and who genuinely likes to help others.
It was a refreshing weekend.
We climbed at Looking Glass on the Nose. This was my 2nd time climbing the Nose. It was freakin' cold though. Yes, I am a wimp when it comes to cold weather of any kind. I put my shoes inside my fleece under my arm-pits just like Mark told me awhile back. It really helped warm them up. I felt good starting out. Mid way, I was getting really cold. My fingers were actually burning and I couldn't feel my toes anymore. There was no sun on the Nose yet. As I reached the top of that first pitch, I wasn't even enjoying myself anymore. I was hurting. I didn't fall though. But I couldn't feel my toes and at the same time, they were throbbing. Not sure if that makes any sense. And it wasn't like it was super freezing or anything, but it could've been in the upper 30s or lower 40s in the shade up at 110 feet high with a chilly wind blowing. Regardless, I was cold! I just wanted to rap down. At that point, I just didn't care about climbing. All i could think about was how much I was hurting. Anyways, so we sat up on top of the 1st pitch just hanging out for a bit talking. I loosened up my shoes, and the blood started flowing again! Aah!
Billy taught me to tie a clove hitch knot this weekend, and I learned (again) how to tie the prusik and how to rap down. I haven't done that since back in October. I seconded him and cleaned his gear. I also have not done that since October. So, even though we came down from that particular climb on the first pitch, I learned a lot.
We moved over to the Sun Dial Crack. The sun was out and on that side really good. It was sweet! I felt so much better.
starting up:
I look like I am in pain here! LOL
It was freezing though!!!
View from the first pitch down:
The Sun Dial Crack is a 5.8. I only made it up to the 2nd pitch. The 2nd pitch was hard! I still didn't fall once but I did have to pull up on a sling though. I know...cheating! I couldn't find a hand hold and wasn't comfortable with my feet and was mentally breaking down so I grabbed the sling and pulled myself up to the cam. Anyways, as I was climbing the 2nd pitch, this chic, Mary, raps down from another climb. Anyways, she says, "You're doing great!" And I had Billy above me saying the same thing. :)
My ankles get so sore. I really need to start running or something. Not only would that help my ankles get stronger, but it would help my endurance and help me on the approaches. I need to work on my breathing as well.
Besides just working out at the gym over the last few years, I've never been involved in playing sports. Climbing is probably one of the hardest things I've ever done...hiking the approach, carrying a heavy pak, carrying heavy rope or gear, learning about gear and knots and physics, etc., learning footwork and balancing, working those legs and working my mind, pushing myself mentally, belaying uses your upper body, learning how to trust, endurance, focusing and cognitive thought prcessing, etc.!!! Anyways, it definitely helps with my anxiety issues that I have. I feel stronger in many different ways each time I climb. I actually feel high or buzzed. I actually get sad when we drive out of the forest. :(
The climbers I have met so far have all been really great people. I hope I continue to meet such kind folks! There was a man there climbing solo on Saturday. Anyways, a girl from Charlotte was leading and she took a fall. She broke her ankle. The man helped her, and Billy and i also heard her when she fell. It didn't sound good at all. Billy yelled out over to the Nose area to make sure everyone over there was ok. He would've come down. Then another man who was just out hiking also pitched in and helped. It kind of makes me wonder sometimes why people just aren't always this kind and loving towards each other?
Why does life seem to be a rat race?
And then it makes me wonder, or rather, realize, that people are in and out of your life for a reason. Whether it is to teach you something new or to help you out in a time of need. Whether it is so that you learn something about yourself...something you can change to become a better person or something so that you can stand up and fight for what you truly believe in. Or to hurt you so you can know what it's like to have a broken heart and how to heal it on your own. Or for you to do something wrong unto someone else and have to learn what it is like to gain a person's trust back and learn what it is like to forgive and to be forgiven. We are all connected somehow in this universe of sorts.
I also truly believe that what comes around, goes around. People should always be willing to lend a hand. You never know when you might need it one day.
Anyways, I loved climbing with Billy. He is a great teacher, a natural born leader. He is humble and kind. He has a great heart. He genuinely cares about others. He is a great person, and now he is a friend of mine. I accidentally left my favorite jacket up there...:(
So now, that just means I will get to climb with him again. :)
On the way up the 1st pitch at a nice resting place:
My ankles get so sore. I really need to start running or something. Not only would that help my ankles get stronger, but it would help my endurance and help me on the approaches. I need to work on my breathing as well.
Besides just working out at the gym over the last few years, I've never been involved in playing sports. Climbing is probably one of the hardest things I've ever done...hiking the approach, carrying a heavy pak, carrying heavy rope or gear, learning about gear and knots and physics, etc., learning footwork and balancing, working those legs and working my mind, pushing myself mentally, belaying uses your upper body, learning how to trust, endurance, focusing and cognitive thought prcessing, etc.!!! Anyways, it definitely helps with my anxiety issues that I have. I feel stronger in many different ways each time I climb. I actually feel high or buzzed. I actually get sad when we drive out of the forest. :(
The climbers I have met so far have all been really great people. I hope I continue to meet such kind folks! There was a man there climbing solo on Saturday. Anyways, a girl from Charlotte was leading and she took a fall. She broke her ankle. The man helped her, and Billy and i also heard her when she fell. It didn't sound good at all. Billy yelled out over to the Nose area to make sure everyone over there was ok. He would've come down. Then another man who was just out hiking also pitched in and helped. It kind of makes me wonder sometimes why people just aren't always this kind and loving towards each other?
Why does life seem to be a rat race?
And then it makes me wonder, or rather, realize, that people are in and out of your life for a reason. Whether it is to teach you something new or to help you out in a time of need. Whether it is so that you learn something about yourself...something you can change to become a better person or something so that you can stand up and fight for what you truly believe in. Or to hurt you so you can know what it's like to have a broken heart and how to heal it on your own. Or for you to do something wrong unto someone else and have to learn what it is like to gain a person's trust back and learn what it is like to forgive and to be forgiven. We are all connected somehow in this universe of sorts.
I also truly believe that what comes around, goes around. People should always be willing to lend a hand. You never know when you might need it one day.
Anyways, I loved climbing with Billy. He is a great teacher, a natural born leader. He is humble and kind. He has a great heart. He genuinely cares about others. He is a great person, and now he is a friend of mine. I accidentally left my favorite jacket up there...:(
So now, that just means I will get to climb with him again. :)
On the way up the 1st pitch at a nice resting place:
January 8, 2007
So, I'm seconding this weekend up at Looking Glass! :)
In February, a group from Charleston is going to Crowder's. I'm planning on going. :) I want to get back up on Opinionated!
And, I have been invited on a trip to Red River Gorge for climbing in March. Hell yes! I am so stoked right now! Red River Gorge is in Kentucky. Somewhere new! Yay!!! I was invited to go with a group of experienced climbers off of the rock climbing website. They said they would be doing some moderate climbs that I could second. :)
I am getting my ass back in the gym. I need to really get back in shape. I'll be climbing again there for more practice. I want to get stronger mentally this year with my climbing. Good news though, when I went to the doc about my kidney stone, I found out that I had gained a pound! Yahoo! (I had lost some weight after August.)
January 7, 2008
My new year is off with a bang!
Last night, I had an epiphany or something.
One other new years goal is also to listen to my gut more. I think it's pretty much on target about most things. I just need to listen to it.
Anyways, with that being said, I've already put in an inquiry to Fox Mountain Guides for a two day Rockclimbing 101 Course they offer. It takes place in early March. Tons of climbing and tons of learning about the gear and knots, etc.
After that course, I'm going to do the Rockclimbing 201 course. They teach you how to place gear, etc. And maybe I'll learn more about how to lead, etc. This one is also a two day course. It's kind of expensive, but worth it though. Hell, I want to learn, and I'm tired of being the "cute girl that wants to climb". And I don't like being stuck in a gym hoping I get invited out on a trip.
I also put out another bulletin on the message board on www.rockclimbing.com to climb with experienced people. To be safe, I deleted my MySpace link though and made my page private.
I was also informed about a site for chics from a fellow female on the rock climbing website. It's called She Climbs Carolina.
Last night, I had an epiphany or something.
One other new years goal is also to listen to my gut more. I think it's pretty much on target about most things. I just need to listen to it.
Anyways, with that being said, I've already put in an inquiry to Fox Mountain Guides for a two day Rockclimbing 101 Course they offer. It takes place in early March. Tons of climbing and tons of learning about the gear and knots, etc.
After that course, I'm going to do the Rockclimbing 201 course. They teach you how to place gear, etc. And maybe I'll learn more about how to lead, etc. This one is also a two day course. It's kind of expensive, but worth it though. Hell, I want to learn, and I'm tired of being the "cute girl that wants to climb". And I don't like being stuck in a gym hoping I get invited out on a trip.
I also put out another bulletin on the message board on www.rockclimbing.com to climb with experienced people. To be safe, I deleted my MySpace link though and made my page private.
I was also informed about a site for chics from a fellow female on the rock climbing website. It's called She Climbs Carolina.
I want to climb more in 2008! :)
I would like to go to Joshua Tree or to The Red Rocks at some point this year. They have beginner and intermediate climbing there too.
I remember last spring, all I wanted was to at least try the climbing wall at the gym. Who knew that I would end up liking it that much? Sometimes you just never know, until you try.
My friend, Paul, and my new friends I met are planning on skydiving soon too. Yeah!!! When it gets a little warmer...
And I definitley want to go snowboarding this year. This summer, I want to cool things off by trying out wakeboarding. I wanted to last year, but it didn't happen.
I'm so excited for the new year! It's already feeling strong.
I'm so excited for the new year! It's already feeling strong.
January 2, 2008
Well, I have been working on my new years resolutions.
One of them that sticks out in my mind, at least right now, is that I want to live more in the moment but be wiser about my decisions though.
I worry too much about things. I really would like to just be able to enjoy the moment and relax and not be a worrier.
Everything in moderation!!!
I can still be healthy and still go out. I have given up the night life this past year 2007 a lot. But I think I needed to though. For one, it helped me quit smoking! (yuk) I was never a big smoker, really, but I smoked, nonetheless. And it also helped me focus in on some goals I wanted and some things I wanted to do for myself. However, lately, in the last month, I have been feeling a little up-tight about things. As I don't want to go out and get drunk, I still want to go out though. I miss going to see live shows. I miss dancing on Friday nights at iPop! at Art Bar. I miss going to see live jazz. Even if I don't drink, I can still go out and have fun! That's how I am and always have been. Why stop now? I don't like sitting on a couch on Friday nights, etc. Occasionally, I may have a drink (like at Halloween or this past weekend because it was New Years weekend), but if I don't, I don't care anymore what people think. I like to feel good the next day when I wake up. I don't like sleeping all day b/c of a hangover! Granted, I had a great time this past weekend, but I was tired, I got sick, and it took a lot of energy out of me. I'm tired of people asking me, "why aren't you drinking?" or "You need a drink." Honestly, that's why I stay home. I just don't want to have to deal with it. But I shouldn't have to worry about it. I'm 32, and the peer pressure days are over for me. I shouldn't have to feel as if I'm boring, old or lame if I'm not drunk or drinking. And I'm still living in the moment and having fun, even though I'm not. It's my choice. That's what life gives us is choices, and that is mine. If I accept you, why can't you accept me for who I am? I have made convictions this past year, and I'm standing true to them. I've been changing in different ways. I like it, and I don't want to get sidetracked again.
However, I never want to be a person who places double standards or who is judgmental either. I feel that maybe I have kinda been that way later on in 2007. It wasn't on purpose, but I kind of feel that maybe I was being too harsh or judgmental on some folks this year. I never want to hurt anyone's feelings. I'm sorry guys.
And I love my spontaneity! This past Saturday, I went out to my friend's store to look at some gear. I ended up hanging out with those guys in the store until they closed, and then we went over to Goatfeathers and had some wine and appetizers. I met some new people. I had no clue that I was even going to go out or anything, and it was great! I had so much fun with those guys. The most sarcastic group of people...it was a blast! I love how I meet random people. It's great! Here's to making new friends in 2008!!!
I want to do more of the things that are on my "to do" list. :)
I just want to make good decisions. I want to make decisions and know exactly how I feel before I act on them. I don't want to get hurt, and I don't want to hurt other people. I don't like feeling confused. I want to enjoy a moment and live in that moment without worrying about it, however, I just want to be sure about things before acting on them. I want to be wise with my words and my actions. Those are what people will remember. They always remember how you made them feel. Just like I will always remember how you made me feel.
Also, I'm getting back into climbing. I haven't climbed indoor or outdoors since 11/11 to be exact. (I kinda got down this holiday season. :(
Not sad, but a little down and confused about some stuff.) I'm a beginner at most things. All of the things I want to do, I am a beginner at. I meet a lot of people that are not beginners. Luckily, they take me under their wing and show me the way, but it is frustrating to always be the beginner!
I just want to be great in 2008! :)
One of them that sticks out in my mind, at least right now, is that I want to live more in the moment but be wiser about my decisions though.
I worry too much about things. I really would like to just be able to enjoy the moment and relax and not be a worrier.
Everything in moderation!!!
I can still be healthy and still go out. I have given up the night life this past year 2007 a lot. But I think I needed to though. For one, it helped me quit smoking! (yuk) I was never a big smoker, really, but I smoked, nonetheless. And it also helped me focus in on some goals I wanted and some things I wanted to do for myself. However, lately, in the last month, I have been feeling a little up-tight about things. As I don't want to go out and get drunk, I still want to go out though. I miss going to see live shows. I miss dancing on Friday nights at iPop! at Art Bar. I miss going to see live jazz. Even if I don't drink, I can still go out and have fun! That's how I am and always have been. Why stop now? I don't like sitting on a couch on Friday nights, etc. Occasionally, I may have a drink (like at Halloween or this past weekend because it was New Years weekend), but if I don't, I don't care anymore what people think. I like to feel good the next day when I wake up. I don't like sleeping all day b/c of a hangover! Granted, I had a great time this past weekend, but I was tired, I got sick, and it took a lot of energy out of me. I'm tired of people asking me, "why aren't you drinking?" or "You need a drink." Honestly, that's why I stay home. I just don't want to have to deal with it. But I shouldn't have to worry about it. I'm 32, and the peer pressure days are over for me. I shouldn't have to feel as if I'm boring, old or lame if I'm not drunk or drinking. And I'm still living in the moment and having fun, even though I'm not. It's my choice. That's what life gives us is choices, and that is mine. If I accept you, why can't you accept me for who I am? I have made convictions this past year, and I'm standing true to them. I've been changing in different ways. I like it, and I don't want to get sidetracked again.
However, I never want to be a person who places double standards or who is judgmental either. I feel that maybe I have kinda been that way later on in 2007. It wasn't on purpose, but I kind of feel that maybe I was being too harsh or judgmental on some folks this year. I never want to hurt anyone's feelings. I'm sorry guys.
And I love my spontaneity! This past Saturday, I went out to my friend's store to look at some gear. I ended up hanging out with those guys in the store until they closed, and then we went over to Goatfeathers and had some wine and appetizers. I met some new people. I had no clue that I was even going to go out or anything, and it was great! I had so much fun with those guys. The most sarcastic group of people...it was a blast! I love how I meet random people. It's great! Here's to making new friends in 2008!!!
I want to do more of the things that are on my "to do" list. :)
I just want to make good decisions. I want to make decisions and know exactly how I feel before I act on them. I don't want to get hurt, and I don't want to hurt other people. I don't like feeling confused. I want to enjoy a moment and live in that moment without worrying about it, however, I just want to be sure about things before acting on them. I want to be wise with my words and my actions. Those are what people will remember. They always remember how you made them feel. Just like I will always remember how you made me feel.
Also, I'm getting back into climbing. I haven't climbed indoor or outdoors since 11/11 to be exact. (I kinda got down this holiday season. :(
Not sad, but a little down and confused about some stuff.) I'm a beginner at most things. All of the things I want to do, I am a beginner at. I meet a lot of people that are not beginners. Luckily, they take me under their wing and show me the way, but it is frustrating to always be the beginner!
I just want to be great in 2008! :)
December 29, 2007
"You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you stop to look fear in the face...you must do that which you think you cannot do."
- Eleanor Roosevelt
- Eleanor Roosevelt
December 18, 2007
Instead of saying "I should do this" or "I have to go do this"...
What about, "I am going to do this" or "I want to do this"?
Just a thought!!!
:)
December 4, 2007
When thinking of goals, etc., remember...there is a fine line between adventurous and procrastination.
"You can walk the path of greatness. It will take work. Life does that sometimes, brings you to your worst only for you to find that your worst led you to your best. You can walk the path of regrets. It is a very easy road to get to. Life does that sometimes, brings you to your best only for you to find that your best led you to your worst."
Success is great! But don't forget to have a life folks. Don't forget where you come from. Never forget to stop and smell the roses!
"You can walk the path of greatness. It will take work. Life does that sometimes, brings you to your worst only for you to find that your worst led you to your best. You can walk the path of regrets. It is a very easy road to get to. Life does that sometimes, brings you to your best only for you to find that your best led you to your worst."
Success is great! But don't forget to have a life folks. Don't forget where you come from. Never forget to stop and smell the roses!
December 2, 2007
So, today, I finally learned how to change my own oil in my car!!!
Thanks to my friend who taught me to do it. :)
Surprisingly, there is actually nothing to it. It's very simple. It's just knowing how to do it. I was very surprised. I thought it would be so much more difficult and messier than it was.
I also learned how to replace the motor in my guest bath's shit fan (exhaust fan).
Now, I need to replace the washer on the cold water knob in my master bathroom sink. But my friend verbally explained it and showed me what it would be like. So, I'm ready to take on that challenge. hee
Thanks again dude for teaching/showing me how to change my oil. :)
And for helping me with the fan in the bathroom, etc. and re-hanging my light fixture in my computer room.
Much appreciated!!!
Thanks to my friend who taught me to do it. :)
Surprisingly, there is actually nothing to it. It's very simple. It's just knowing how to do it. I was very surprised. I thought it would be so much more difficult and messier than it was.
I also learned how to replace the motor in my guest bath's shit fan (exhaust fan).
Now, I need to replace the washer on the cold water knob in my master bathroom sink. But my friend verbally explained it and showed me what it would be like. So, I'm ready to take on that challenge. hee
Thanks again dude for teaching/showing me how to change my oil. :)
And for helping me with the fan in the bathroom, etc. and re-hanging my light fixture in my computer room.
Much appreciated!!!
December 1, 2007 - I'll never be a hater!
GIRLS!!! Come on! Seriously!
Why the hate for each other?
One thing I've never understood is why women can't be proud of another woman.
Why the jealousy?
We are all different in so many ways. We are all strong. We are all beautiful. Own it girls!
And be proud of other chics out there who are different and who make a difference and who are bad--ass bithces who kick ass in sports or fashion, or production or design, or climbing or sports or writing or photography or modeling or surfing or what the hell ever!!!
We need to support each other instead of hatin' all the time.
It's too easy to see someone that you're not and get jealous or hate on them. I will never be that type of chic. Anytime I see a chic who freakin' rules, I'm going to tell them they rule!
I feel that women need to be more supportive of one another. We worry too much about comparing ourselves to each other instead of being proud of one another and learning things from each other. We all have something to offer. Own it. Be proud of yourself and the woman next to you. :)
Why the hate for each other?
One thing I've never understood is why women can't be proud of another woman.
Why the jealousy?
We are all different in so many ways. We are all strong. We are all beautiful. Own it girls!
And be proud of other chics out there who are different and who make a difference and who are bad--ass bithces who kick ass in sports or fashion, or production or design, or climbing or sports or writing or photography or modeling or surfing or what the hell ever!!!
We need to support each other instead of hatin' all the time.
It's too easy to see someone that you're not and get jealous or hate on them. I will never be that type of chic. Anytime I see a chic who freakin' rules, I'm going to tell them they rule!
I feel that women need to be more supportive of one another. We worry too much about comparing ourselves to each other instead of being proud of one another and learning things from each other. We all have something to offer. Own it. Be proud of yourself and the woman next to you. :)
November 26, 2007 - What Makes an Artist?
I am an emotional person. I am very passionate about art and about lyrics, etc. I'm not a very good creative writer myself, but I am drawn to beautiful poetry and writings that make me feel emotion...as in music or even that painting...I love tearing it all apart and analyzing it.
I hear a spectacularly written song. It means one thing to me but another to the person who actually wrote it. Who is responsible for that emotion? Well, I am, I suppose. I am the one creating that meaning for myself. It's my emotion that I've created for myself, right? So, does that mean then that I am actually the artist?
However, had the song never been written, then I would've never been able to feel the emotion from that song...even though I am the one creating the emotion. The painting or the song is an outlet for my emotion. Isn't that art though?
The same goes with a poem or a painting.
Sure the original artist has a certain meaning, however, we all interpret things in our own ways.
For example, Switchfoot has pretty amazing lyrics. Have you ever been to one of their concerts? The lyrics moved me so much that I literally cried. Yes, they are a Christian rock band. You don't have to be a Christian for their songs to have meaning to you. For me, they're positive reinforcing lyrics, and to be quite frank, I probably wouldn't be here if it weren't for some of their songs helped to pull me out of depression. "I dare you to move like today never happened" or "This is your life, are you who you want to be?...are you where you want to be?", etc.
You guys know what I am talking about...the concert that makes you feel as if you've just had a religious experience? You get this feeling inside you...it's unexplainable...that's fucking art!!!
Even though I may create my own emotion and meaning as to what that song means to me personally, the musician is still an artist though.
I mean, after all, if an artist can't tap into your emotions and bring all of that out, then all they are producing/selling are catchy tunes, right? If that's the case, they aren't artists at all.
It is truly an art to tap into human emotion.
I hear a spectacularly written song. It means one thing to me but another to the person who actually wrote it. Who is responsible for that emotion? Well, I am, I suppose. I am the one creating that meaning for myself. It's my emotion that I've created for myself, right? So, does that mean then that I am actually the artist?
However, had the song never been written, then I would've never been able to feel the emotion from that song...even though I am the one creating the emotion. The painting or the song is an outlet for my emotion. Isn't that art though?
The same goes with a poem or a painting.
Sure the original artist has a certain meaning, however, we all interpret things in our own ways.
For example, Switchfoot has pretty amazing lyrics. Have you ever been to one of their concerts? The lyrics moved me so much that I literally cried. Yes, they are a Christian rock band. You don't have to be a Christian for their songs to have meaning to you. For me, they're positive reinforcing lyrics, and to be quite frank, I probably wouldn't be here if it weren't for some of their songs helped to pull me out of depression. "I dare you to move like today never happened" or "This is your life, are you who you want to be?...are you where you want to be?", etc.
You guys know what I am talking about...the concert that makes you feel as if you've just had a religious experience? You get this feeling inside you...it's unexplainable...that's fucking art!!!
Even though I may create my own emotion and meaning as to what that song means to me personally, the musician is still an artist though.
I mean, after all, if an artist can't tap into your emotions and bring all of that out, then all they are producing/selling are catchy tunes, right? If that's the case, they aren't artists at all.
It is truly an art to tap into human emotion.
November 8, 2007 - COMMIT!!!
"I will not die an unlived life. I will not live in fear of falling or catching fire. I choose to inhabit my days, to allow my living to open me...to make me less afraid and more accessible...to loosen my heart until it becomes a wing, a torch, a promise. I choose to risk my significance...to live so that which comes to me as seed goes to the next as blossom and that which comes to me as blossom, goes on as fruit."
November 3, 2007 - I Love Fig Newtons!
Anyways, so last weekend was Halloween. It was a blast!
My new roommate moved in before Halloween. Now, he's leaving. I have already managed to drive him away! lol Just kidding! He's going into the military. I'll be looking for another roommate soon. First, I think I want to get some things done around the house though. We'll see...
I tried my first spin class last weekend! It was freakin' hard as hell! I'm still not quite sure what I think about it. It literally kicked my ass. I hate cardio! I really need to work on my breathing. When I get tired and out of breath on an approach, at least I have the wall to think about. "I'll be climbing soon." It gets me stoked again. In a spin class, I really have nothing to be excited about. I'm on a stationary bike...suffering! I'd much rather be working out in the outdoors instead of on a stationary bike! No scenery, and you aren't going anywhere at all. I'm just not really sure yet how I feel about it. I suppose I'll try it again. It is a very good work-out, nonetheless. One thing I would have to get used to is the damn seat! It hurts! It hurt to sit down for a couple of days after! lol
So, I went to my yoga class Thursday night. I have missed about 7 classes in a row. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be after missing 7 classes, but I did see how much I had missed it.
I have been climbing in the gym again. I finally made it to the top of this one new wall I've been working on. Now, I have decided that I'm going to build strength and endurance. I decided to start climbing this one newbie wall over and over again until I am falling off and can't climb anymore. Until my arms are burning! It's a 5.7 wall. I climb this wall faster now and over and over again in a row. As soon as I get down, I go right back up. It's good exercise. I need the endurance and the strength training. I fly up that wall now. It's funny, back in July, that wall was hard. It makes me feel good to see improvement. :)
I definitely feel stronger now.
I had started losing weight after I got back from my trip to Cali. I wasn't feeling well either. So, I started drinking protein shakes and nutrition shakes to gain or maintain weight. I think it's helping. I drink those drinks in addition to my regular diet, etc. I have been eating healthier too. My doc says I am fine, but she doesn't want to see me lose any more weight though. She says with a high metabolism, and a work-out routine like climbing, etc. that I would lose some weight. She said it was probably normal and for me not to worry. My body craves protein and carbs now. Energy and fuel! Those shakes really help!
I mowed my front yard this morning for the last time this year, hopefully. Now, I just need to do the back yard and clean my gutters out.
I can't wait to get out for another outdoor climb soon before the weather gets cold. :)
My new roommate moved in before Halloween. Now, he's leaving. I have already managed to drive him away! lol Just kidding! He's going into the military. I'll be looking for another roommate soon. First, I think I want to get some things done around the house though. We'll see...
I tried my first spin class last weekend! It was freakin' hard as hell! I'm still not quite sure what I think about it. It literally kicked my ass. I hate cardio! I really need to work on my breathing. When I get tired and out of breath on an approach, at least I have the wall to think about. "I'll be climbing soon." It gets me stoked again. In a spin class, I really have nothing to be excited about. I'm on a stationary bike...suffering! I'd much rather be working out in the outdoors instead of on a stationary bike! No scenery, and you aren't going anywhere at all. I'm just not really sure yet how I feel about it. I suppose I'll try it again. It is a very good work-out, nonetheless. One thing I would have to get used to is the damn seat! It hurts! It hurt to sit down for a couple of days after! lol
So, I went to my yoga class Thursday night. I have missed about 7 classes in a row. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be after missing 7 classes, but I did see how much I had missed it.
I have been climbing in the gym again. I finally made it to the top of this one new wall I've been working on. Now, I have decided that I'm going to build strength and endurance. I decided to start climbing this one newbie wall over and over again until I am falling off and can't climb anymore. Until my arms are burning! It's a 5.7 wall. I climb this wall faster now and over and over again in a row. As soon as I get down, I go right back up. It's good exercise. I need the endurance and the strength training. I fly up that wall now. It's funny, back in July, that wall was hard. It makes me feel good to see improvement. :)
I definitely feel stronger now.
I had started losing weight after I got back from my trip to Cali. I wasn't feeling well either. So, I started drinking protein shakes and nutrition shakes to gain or maintain weight. I think it's helping. I drink those drinks in addition to my regular diet, etc. I have been eating healthier too. My doc says I am fine, but she doesn't want to see me lose any more weight though. She says with a high metabolism, and a work-out routine like climbing, etc. that I would lose some weight. She said it was probably normal and for me not to worry. My body craves protein and carbs now. Energy and fuel! Those shakes really help!
I mowed my front yard this morning for the last time this year, hopefully. Now, I just need to do the back yard and clean my gutters out.
I can't wait to get out for another outdoor climb soon before the weather gets cold. :)
October 29, 2007 - TAG office Halloween party
Every year we have a Halloween party at The Adams Group. :)I went as a naughty officer this year! I love Halloween! I usually go all out for it too.
Here are some pics of the party: (when TAG used to be fun)
Here are some pics of the party: (when TAG used to be fun)
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