About Me
- SueBear
- “The moment inbetween what you once were, and who you are now becoming, is where the dance of life really takes place.” ~ Barbara De Angelis "Nothing happens without personal transformation." I decided one day I wanted to change. I wanted more from life. I realized that if you want more, YOU have to make it happen. You have to go to it and create it. The most powerful weapon against a mediocre life is practice. And just like a fire, the human spirit needs to be lit again each day.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
this really clicks with me right now
“The moment in between what you once were, and who you are now becoming, is where the dance of life really takes place.” ~Barbara De Angelis
Thursday, January 13, 2011
7 Important Vital Choices for Happy Relationships from Tiny Buddha - Daily Wisdom
7 Important Vital Choices for Happy Relationships
1. Practice self love first.
It seems like you can only have happy relationships if you can be happy with or without them. ~Erika Gonzalez
Know that it is not the other person’s job to make you happy. The only person who can do that is you! ~Christi Emmons
The ultimate kicker: be honest with yourself about who you are. ~Kelly Bell
Know that you can be yourself and still be accepted. The best relationship is when you bring out the best in each other, and you are purely content when neither has anything to say. ~Stephanie Schwenning
Take it off the page:
• Make a list or mental note of all the things to appreciate about you. Realize everyone has flaws, and there’s a lot more right with you than wrong with you.
• Work on forgiving yourself. The past is the past and you deserve to put it behind you, but no one else can let it go for you.
• Be good to yourself today. Practice yoga, meditate, or take a walk.
2. Focus on compatibility.
Be best friends first. ~Wendy Nicholson
Have an incredible “like” for each other. ~Diane Bateman
Have shared (or at least compatible) values and communication. Everything else can be forgiven, accepted, or put aside, however values are the root of how we relate to all beings. ~Frank Ra
Find the person who inspires you to be a better you, and always encourage them to become the best them. ~Corinne Morrill
Take it off the page:
• If you’re single, do something social that you love. You’re more likely to meet compatible people if you get out there and foster your interests.
• If you’re in a relationship, spend some time sharing something you both enjoy. My boyfriend and I met at karaoke, so singing together is a great way to connect.
• If you’re in a relationship with someone and it always feels like hard work, ask yourself: are you trying to jam a square peg into a round hole? It can be scary to walk away from the wrong person, but it’s the only possibility of meeting someone who will feel right.
3. Practice acceptance.
Accept that not everyone or everything is perfect. We are all perfectly flawed. ~Simon Kirk
Be non-demanding of your partner—partners don’t tell each other what to do. ~John Bigl
Mutual adoration and acceptance of the differences that make each of you individuals are keys to a phenomenal relationship. ~Casey Kimes
Happiness is a choice, as are all things in life. I choose to see and feel grateful for all of the best qualities in my partner, rather than focusing on shortcomings. ~Emily Roberts
Take it off the page:
• If you feel yourself focusing on everything someone appears to be doing wrong, ask yourself if there’s something else upsetting you. It’s easier to blame other people than it is to look in ourselves, but oftentimes that’s where the problem is.
• If you feel like changing something about someone else today, ask yourself what change you can make in yourself instead. If you feel unappreciated, show appreciation. It’s more empowering and productive to show people how to treat us than to complain about what’s lacking.
• If there’s something you just can’t accept, ask yourself if you’re willing to walk away because of it. We can’t change other people, but we can change our relationship to them.
4. Have realistic expectations.
Don’t expect it to be happy all the time. ~Stephanie Goddard
Don’t sweat the small things and speak up when it really is important to you. ~Elizabeth Sadhu
Remember that it isn’t always happy, but get through those not so happy moments together or apart, whichever is needed. ~Jessica Duff
Keep realistic standards for each other. ~Ashna Singh
Take it off the page:
• Eliminate the word should today—how a relationship should work, how people should act if they love you.
• Notice when you’re projecting something onto the other person that has nothing to do with them, like a fear from a past relationship. Then make an effort to let it go.
• Recognize when you’re looking for that person to do something for you that you need to do for yourself, like make you feel lovable or take care of your needs. Then release those expectations and do it for yourself.
5. Be kind in words and deeds.
Think about the person’s feelings before you speak or criticize them. ~Dana Brewer Covey
Have a fast ear and a slow tongue. ~Mark Ward
Have compassion and grow together, not apart, as the years go on. ~Krista Tverdak
Love must be bigger and stronger than anything else. Never keep any record of your partner’s mistakes and faults and be ready to forgive. ~Mel Escobar
Take it off the page:
• Make an effort to really listen—not just wait to talk.
• See the other person as if for the first time. It’s all too easy to take someone for granted. Really notice all the wonderful things they do, and let them know what you see.
• If you get frustrated with each other, ask yourself, “Will this really matter after I’ve cooled down?”
6. Be honest.
Talk about things that leave you vulnerable from the heart. ~Cheryl Floyed
Compromise and dream together. ~ Becca Stinson
From my grandparents, who have been happily married for 60 years: the three C’s: caring, communication, and compromise. ~Emily Larsen
Don’t sweat the small stuff, and if something really is bothering you talk about it in a calm controlled manner. Leave drama in the theaters and movies. ~Ben Reyna
Take it off the page:
• Open up about something that you’ve been keeping to yourself. It doesn’t have to be big and dramatic. People can only be there for us if we let them.
• If something’s on your mind, express it without implying the other person is responsible for your feelings.
7. Remember to act.
When you’re bored, do something about it. ~Ernie Somers
Adjust to change. Adjust to moods, lifestyle changes, and new additions, and always remember to love. ~Elysia Cordero
The rest comes and goes as we change and grow and struggle, but being able to laugh together brings you back together. ~Kerry Kokkinogenis
Have rich individual pursuits and pursue things together. ~Laura Texera
Take it off the page:
• If you haven’t in a while, take time to do your own thing today—completely on your own or with friends.
• Take time to laugh together, whether it’s watching funny YouTube videos or trying something new together.
• If you feel dissatisfied with your life, don’t assume it’s your relationship. What other adjustments could you make to feel happier with your place in the world? Maybe you need to take a small step toward a hobby or more fulfilling job.
And lastly…
Start over again and again. ~Miguel Angel Carrillo Infante
It’s a new day–a new chance to practice giving and receiving love.
***This content was taken from the tinybuddha.com website.
1. Practice self love first.
It seems like you can only have happy relationships if you can be happy with or without them. ~Erika Gonzalez
Know that it is not the other person’s job to make you happy. The only person who can do that is you! ~Christi Emmons
The ultimate kicker: be honest with yourself about who you are. ~Kelly Bell
Know that you can be yourself and still be accepted. The best relationship is when you bring out the best in each other, and you are purely content when neither has anything to say. ~Stephanie Schwenning
Take it off the page:
• Make a list or mental note of all the things to appreciate about you. Realize everyone has flaws, and there’s a lot more right with you than wrong with you.
• Work on forgiving yourself. The past is the past and you deserve to put it behind you, but no one else can let it go for you.
• Be good to yourself today. Practice yoga, meditate, or take a walk.
2. Focus on compatibility.
Be best friends first. ~Wendy Nicholson
Have an incredible “like” for each other. ~Diane Bateman
Have shared (or at least compatible) values and communication. Everything else can be forgiven, accepted, or put aside, however values are the root of how we relate to all beings. ~Frank Ra
Find the person who inspires you to be a better you, and always encourage them to become the best them. ~Corinne Morrill
Take it off the page:
• If you’re single, do something social that you love. You’re more likely to meet compatible people if you get out there and foster your interests.
• If you’re in a relationship, spend some time sharing something you both enjoy. My boyfriend and I met at karaoke, so singing together is a great way to connect.
• If you’re in a relationship with someone and it always feels like hard work, ask yourself: are you trying to jam a square peg into a round hole? It can be scary to walk away from the wrong person, but it’s the only possibility of meeting someone who will feel right.
3. Practice acceptance.
Accept that not everyone or everything is perfect. We are all perfectly flawed. ~Simon Kirk
Be non-demanding of your partner—partners don’t tell each other what to do. ~John Bigl
Mutual adoration and acceptance of the differences that make each of you individuals are keys to a phenomenal relationship. ~Casey Kimes
Happiness is a choice, as are all things in life. I choose to see and feel grateful for all of the best qualities in my partner, rather than focusing on shortcomings. ~Emily Roberts
Take it off the page:
• If you feel yourself focusing on everything someone appears to be doing wrong, ask yourself if there’s something else upsetting you. It’s easier to blame other people than it is to look in ourselves, but oftentimes that’s where the problem is.
• If you feel like changing something about someone else today, ask yourself what change you can make in yourself instead. If you feel unappreciated, show appreciation. It’s more empowering and productive to show people how to treat us than to complain about what’s lacking.
• If there’s something you just can’t accept, ask yourself if you’re willing to walk away because of it. We can’t change other people, but we can change our relationship to them.
4. Have realistic expectations.
Don’t expect it to be happy all the time. ~Stephanie Goddard
Don’t sweat the small things and speak up when it really is important to you. ~Elizabeth Sadhu
Remember that it isn’t always happy, but get through those not so happy moments together or apart, whichever is needed. ~Jessica Duff
Keep realistic standards for each other. ~Ashna Singh
Take it off the page:
• Eliminate the word should today—how a relationship should work, how people should act if they love you.
• Notice when you’re projecting something onto the other person that has nothing to do with them, like a fear from a past relationship. Then make an effort to let it go.
• Recognize when you’re looking for that person to do something for you that you need to do for yourself, like make you feel lovable or take care of your needs. Then release those expectations and do it for yourself.
5. Be kind in words and deeds.
Think about the person’s feelings before you speak or criticize them. ~Dana Brewer Covey
Have a fast ear and a slow tongue. ~Mark Ward
Have compassion and grow together, not apart, as the years go on. ~Krista Tverdak
Love must be bigger and stronger than anything else. Never keep any record of your partner’s mistakes and faults and be ready to forgive. ~Mel Escobar
Take it off the page:
• Make an effort to really listen—not just wait to talk.
• See the other person as if for the first time. It’s all too easy to take someone for granted. Really notice all the wonderful things they do, and let them know what you see.
• If you get frustrated with each other, ask yourself, “Will this really matter after I’ve cooled down?”
6. Be honest.
Talk about things that leave you vulnerable from the heart. ~Cheryl Floyed
Compromise and dream together. ~ Becca Stinson
From my grandparents, who have been happily married for 60 years: the three C’s: caring, communication, and compromise. ~Emily Larsen
Don’t sweat the small stuff, and if something really is bothering you talk about it in a calm controlled manner. Leave drama in the theaters and movies. ~Ben Reyna
Take it off the page:
• Open up about something that you’ve been keeping to yourself. It doesn’t have to be big and dramatic. People can only be there for us if we let them.
• If something’s on your mind, express it without implying the other person is responsible for your feelings.
7. Remember to act.
When you’re bored, do something about it. ~Ernie Somers
Adjust to change. Adjust to moods, lifestyle changes, and new additions, and always remember to love. ~Elysia Cordero
The rest comes and goes as we change and grow and struggle, but being able to laugh together brings you back together. ~Kerry Kokkinogenis
Have rich individual pursuits and pursue things together. ~Laura Texera
Take it off the page:
• If you haven’t in a while, take time to do your own thing today—completely on your own or with friends.
• Take time to laugh together, whether it’s watching funny YouTube videos or trying something new together.
• If you feel dissatisfied with your life, don’t assume it’s your relationship. What other adjustments could you make to feel happier with your place in the world? Maybe you need to take a small step toward a hobby or more fulfilling job.
And lastly…
Start over again and again. ~Miguel Angel Carrillo Infante
It’s a new day–a new chance to practice giving and receiving love.
***This content was taken from the tinybuddha.com website.
Monday, January 3, 2011
2010 in Review
I found more zen in my 2010!
I finally got to climb at Laurel Knob. Finally got to climb at The Red River Gorge in KY and at Tennessee Wall in Chattanooga as well. Awesome!
I actually bouldered some this year and sent problems! And I ice climbed again.
I learned how to climb offwidths and a water groove. I also got to practice my crack climbing technique...still needs work.
I also learned the most ever about placing gear. Hopefully this year in 2011, I will put that to use.
I made a ton of new friends and got closer to old ones.
I already knew but got reminded again that the best climber in the world is the one who is having the most fun! :)
I did not quit climbing, instead, I am having more fun with it now than ever. I just had to change my perspective is all.
I challenged myself this year in 2 muddy obstacle course events. I started running again and power walked a shit ton of miles. I also survived a 1 hour CrossFit class. LMAO!!! I have once again challenged myself both mentally and physically. I found out that I really can be all that I can be.
I went on the most awesome adventure vacation EVER to Kauai, Hawaii.
I stopped fooling around and enrolled my ass back in school. I start on Jan 11th.
I finally bought that camera, took some classes and am loving photography!
I learned that expectations lead to disappointments and limitations hold me back. I will forgive the past, and not worry about my future. As my feet are firmly planted for 2011, I am aware of where I am and who I have become. As I look around in awareness, I will lift up and grow, opening my heart fully to this new year. This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine!
2011, bring it!!! I don't need a clean slate. Instead, I thank Life for the way that it is...IT IS WHAT IT IS. I am ready!!! I am focusing upon what I really want this year, and I am not going to worry about the how's or about charting a course. Besides, what I want is already mine because I own it now. I refuse to worry about my first steps. I have been inspired this year, and my instincts and impulses are showing me the way now. I am getting busy. I am going all out, and I am gonna go hard...(train smart and study hard)!
I finally got to climb at Laurel Knob. Finally got to climb at The Red River Gorge in KY and at Tennessee Wall in Chattanooga as well. Awesome!
I actually bouldered some this year and sent problems! And I ice climbed again.
I learned how to climb offwidths and a water groove. I also got to practice my crack climbing technique...still needs work.
I also learned the most ever about placing gear. Hopefully this year in 2011, I will put that to use.
I made a ton of new friends and got closer to old ones.
I already knew but got reminded again that the best climber in the world is the one who is having the most fun! :)
I did not quit climbing, instead, I am having more fun with it now than ever. I just had to change my perspective is all.
I challenged myself this year in 2 muddy obstacle course events. I started running again and power walked a shit ton of miles. I also survived a 1 hour CrossFit class. LMAO!!! I have once again challenged myself both mentally and physically. I found out that I really can be all that I can be.
I went on the most awesome adventure vacation EVER to Kauai, Hawaii.
I stopped fooling around and enrolled my ass back in school. I start on Jan 11th.
I finally bought that camera, took some classes and am loving photography!
I learned that expectations lead to disappointments and limitations hold me back. I will forgive the past, and not worry about my future. As my feet are firmly planted for 2011, I am aware of where I am and who I have become. As I look around in awareness, I will lift up and grow, opening my heart fully to this new year. This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine!
2011, bring it!!! I don't need a clean slate. Instead, I thank Life for the way that it is...IT IS WHAT IT IS. I am ready!!! I am focusing upon what I really want this year, and I am not going to worry about the how's or about charting a course. Besides, what I want is already mine because I own it now. I refuse to worry about my first steps. I have been inspired this year, and my instincts and impulses are showing me the way now. I am getting busy. I am going all out, and I am gonna go hard...(train smart and study hard)!
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