July 14, 2007 Take 100% Responsibilty for Your Life

Ok, so I'm reading this really neat book. I'm gonna share with anyone out there who wants to know what some of this book is teaching me.

The title of this blog is Chapter 1 of this book. It is the first Success Principle. :)
The book is called The Success Principles by Jack Canfield. I don't feel like quoting, so I'll just say that all of this blog is taken directly from the first chapter of this book.

This chapter has special meaning (well...this whole book will) b/c it pertains to my current situation over the last 2 years and years before that. And especially in the last 2 years...I have been saying to myself that something isn't right in my life, I'm not happy here, and I want to change it. I want to change the way I feel, etc.

Well, there is only one person responsible for the quality of the life you live...that person is YOU. This quality of life includes but is not limited to: your achievements, results you produce, the quality of your relationships, the state of your health and physical fitness, your income, your debts, your feelings....EVERYTHING!

Most of us are conditioned to blame something outside of ourselves for the parts of our lives we don't like. We blame our parents, our bosses, our friends, the media, our coworkers, our clients, our spouse, the weather, the economy, racism, our astrological charts, our lack of money, a chemical imbalance, or a chronic fatigue/muscular disorder, etc. We never look at the the real problem...OURSELVES.

Stop looking outside of yourself for the answers to why you haven't created the life and results you want.

1. Give up all your excuses

This means giving up all your victim stories, excuses, all the reasons why you can't and why you haven't up until now, and all all your blaming of outside circumstances.

For whatever reason (ignorance, lack of awareness, fear, needing to be right, the need to feel 'safe') you have chosen not to exercise the power to make it different, to get it right or to produce the desired result. Who knows why, but it doesn't matter. The past is the past. All that matters from this point on is that you choose to take 100% responsibility for everything that does or does not happen to you.

Event + Response = Outcome

You can blame the event for your lack of results or you can simply change your responses to the events until you get the outcomes you want.

Everything you think, say and do needs to become intentional and aligned with your purpose, your values, and your goals.

Everything you experence today is the result of choices from the past.

You only have control over 3 things in your life: the thoughts you think, the images you visualize and the actions you take (your behavior). If you don't like what you are producing or experiencing, you have to change your responses. You have to get off the treadmill. Try something new or different. Insanity is defined as "continuing the same behavior but expecting a different outcome." If you want something different, you are going to have to do something different.

2. Give up blaming

"All blame is a waste of time. No matter how much fault you find with another, and regardless of how much you blame him, it will not change you." - Wayne Dyer, Coauthor of How to Get What You Really, Really, Really Want

3. Give up complaining

In order to complain about something or someone, you have to believe that something better exists. People only complain about things they can do something about. We don't complain about the things we have no control over...like gravity, for example. We know we can't control it. It's there. There's nothing we can do about it, and we don't complain about gravity. Instead we use it to our advantage! Right?

People choose to complain, rather than to change. It's easier. There's no risk involved either!

Make a decision to stop complaining and stop spending time with complainers! Get on with creating the life of your dreams! If you find yourself in a situation you don't like, leave! Make it better! Do something about it. Change it or get the heck out!

It's up to you to make the change, to do something different. The world doesn't owe you anything! You have to create it! (Obviously, I'm not referring to third world countries in need of our help, etc....but even still, some of those people do take a risk to do something different, they leave those countries to go find better homes and jobs, or make certain decisions that put themselves in harms way to save their families or just whatever...you need to watch Blood Diamond or Hotel Rawanda or Tears of the Sun, etc., etc. These people are in the worst conditions, and it seems that they don't complain, b/c 9 times out of 10, they can't do anything about their situations. That's their life. The other times, they still don't complain but they still change their situations! I know folks who have been to these countries. And they come back with awesome stories of these people welcomed them into their villages and fed them and took care of them, and that they were always smiling and seemed to be very happy. I guess this could turn into a whole other blog!!! So I'll stop there. :)