Just because I'm losing
Doesn't mean I'm lost
Doesn't mean I'll stop
Doesn't mean I will cross
Just because I'm hurting
Doesn't mean I'm hurt
Doesn't mean I didn't get what I deserve
No better and no worse
I just got lost
Every river that I've tried to cross
And every door I ever tried was locked
And I'm just waiting till the shine wears off...
You might be a big fish
In a little pond
Doesn't mean you've won
'Cause along may come
A bigger one
And you'll be lost
Every river that you tried to cross
Every gun you ever held went off
And I'm just waiting till the firing starts
And I'm just waiting till the shine wears off
About Me
- SueBear
- “The moment inbetween what you once were, and who you are now becoming, is where the dance of life really takes place.” ~ Barbara De Angelis "Nothing happens without personal transformation." I decided one day I wanted to change. I wanted more from life. I realized that if you want more, YOU have to make it happen. You have to go to it and create it. The most powerful weapon against a mediocre life is practice. And just like a fire, the human spirit needs to be lit again each day.
Sunday, December 27, 2009
December 15, 2008 - What's so Great about Tomorrow?
So, I have been pondering my New Year's Resolution...
I think one of mine will be to take things less seriously. If I don't fit into someone's mold, who cares?
"Reality isn't black and white, answers don't have to be yes or no, and absolutely nothing has to happen today. I will act when I'm ready. Be led by my feelings. And the next time someone wants to fit me into a mold, I'll just tell 'em that my jeans are in the wash, my angel's at the mall, and Oprah's on the other line." (my TUT Universe message for the day in my inbox this morning)
"Every breath is a 2nd chance...to give your mood a makeover...to break out of an old holding pattern...to cultivate compassion from the inside out...to change the plot of your life story...to do a somersault...to give wings to your grounded dreams..." (the cover of Skirt Magazine)
As we all think about our new year resolutions, just remember this:
"Tomorrow is always fresh, with no mistakes in it." - Lucy Maud Montgomery
I love Skirt Magazine!!! :)
I think one of mine will be to take things less seriously. If I don't fit into someone's mold, who cares?
"Reality isn't black and white, answers don't have to be yes or no, and absolutely nothing has to happen today. I will act when I'm ready. Be led by my feelings. And the next time someone wants to fit me into a mold, I'll just tell 'em that my jeans are in the wash, my angel's at the mall, and Oprah's on the other line." (my TUT Universe message for the day in my inbox this morning)
"Every breath is a 2nd chance...to give your mood a makeover...to break out of an old holding pattern...to cultivate compassion from the inside out...to change the plot of your life story...to do a somersault...to give wings to your grounded dreams..." (the cover of Skirt Magazine)
As we all think about our new year resolutions, just remember this:
"Tomorrow is always fresh, with no mistakes in it." - Lucy Maud Montgomery
I love Skirt Magazine!!! :)
December 14, 2008 - Just Another Day in My Blog
Humans make mistakes, right? In fact, that is really how we learn is from the mistakes we make along the way.
I made one a few days ago, and I broke one of The Four Agreements in the process.
I assumed. The Third Agreement is: Don't Make Assumptions.
I let a 'judger' get in my way, and I let that parasite cloud my own judgment! And then I became a victim, and I blamed someone for my hurt.
I'm a spiritual person…not religious but pretty spiritual. And I really believe in the Toltec's wisdom of the Four Agreements. And I feel pretty bad to have broken one of them.
Some of what I'm about to write is taken directly our of the book, The Four Agreements. Some of it is paraphrased or my own words. But I want to share with folks out there about this important agreement. And you should go read this book if you haven't already. The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz.
We all have a tendency to make assumptions….about everything! If the cashier at the store is in a bad mood, we tend to get all pissed off thinking that she is pissed at us or being rude to us. But what if she just found out her dog died? We should not assume anything about her. If someone you tells you something, a secret/rumor, we should not assume it is true.
The huge issue with assumptions is that we take them personally. We take them personally b/c we actually believe it is real or that it is the truth. If you do not assume things, then you wouldn't take everything so personally…and you wouldn't blame anyone for anything, and then your life would be so much more merrier. You could be an owner!!! An owner of your own emotions! An owner of your spirit.
I really hate drama. There are so many people out there though that seem to love it. They live for it. Maybe that is why so many people love reality television. They live for other people's drama. However, drama causes emotional poison.
True, life is full of drama. But in reality, drama is really only how you perceive it to be. We control our emotions. We can change our own perceptions. Sure, we cannot control everything or anyone around us, but we can control how we are going to react. It is a choice. You can choose to be happy or you can choose to suffer. As harsh as that may sound, it is true. I see kids with cancer who are so happy…they are smiling. Deep down they suffer from a horrible disease, but they are owners of their spirit, and they are not victims. If they can still be happy, then why can't we? People take for granted all kinds of shit!
Ok, back to the real subject at hand….sorry!
One way to create drama is to gossip. I hate gossip and I can't stand it when people do it. Do you not have anything else better to do in your life besides sit around and talk about other people? I know that I am guilty too. I'm not perfect, but gossip really sux. It can cause a lot of heartache for the ones who are involved, and it is ugly. It hurts people.
People will believe or rather assume the gossip is true because they are afraid to ask for clarification. Instead people believe the gossip. They assume it is true, they believe they are right so they defend their assumptions by blaming someone else for it. Why couldn't they just ask that person?
Assuming things makes us suffer...it clouds your judgment. It is better to ask questions, instead of assume. And just as that holds true in relationships, it holds true at work too, right? If you don't ask questions and you just assume things, you probably aren't going to get the job done right.
When you make assumptions, you are only asking for problems. In relationships, it leads to a lot of fights, a lot of difficulties, a lot of misunderstandings…
Humans have the need to justify everything. Why? Why do we need to be validated all the time?
'Often when you go into a relationship, you have to justify why you like that person. You only see what you want to see and deny the things you don't want to see. You lie to yourself to make yourself right. (Another interesting fact after the first 3 months of dating...you start really seeing the real person...for who they really are) Then you make assumptions, and one of them is, 'My love will change this person. But this is not true. Your love doesn't change anyone! If someone changes, it is only b/c that person wants to change, not b/c you want them to. Then something happens between the two of you, and you get hurt. Suddenly you see what you didn't want to see before. But now, it is amplified by your own emotional poison. Now you have to be validated and so you blame them for your own choices.'
'Real love is accepting other people the way they are…without trying to change them. If you try to change someone, it means you don't really like them.'
'If others feel they have to change you, that really means they don't love you just the way you are.' I refuse to date someone or even have friends in my life who try to change me.
If I have to be someone else, then that means I am fake…I am a false image. I don't want to represent a false image. I am who I am. If you don't like it, then fuck off! I really admire people who live with this principle. It is hard. It is so hard to be this way…to not worry what other people will think of you…to wonder what they are saying behind your back. It is so rare to meet someone who actually loves you for you! This is something i really need to work on is not caring what others think and just focus on being me. I let others be who they are, right? So why do I always end up apologizing for who I am?
I really hate it when people judge me or people try to change who I am. Therefore I would never try to do that to someone else. Besides, I wouldn't want to date someone just like me…I would never learn anything new from that person. I don't want to control anyone or change them.
I can't stand it when folks tell me rumors about someone…if you don't know if it is true, you shouldn't be repeating it. Never assume anything. And why do people always seem to start shit, and then end it all by saying, 'Well, I just don't want to be in the middle of it.' Well, why did you start it in the first place?
I also can't stand it when folks are passive aggressive…or try to use that shit on me. I am blunt, so if something I say rubbed you the wrong way, then just ask me straight up about it. Don't assume that I am angry at you or don't assume that I'm in a bad mood, etc. ,etc. I would rather be brutally honest or hear brutal honesty than for someone to be passive aggressive. Passive aggressive behavior means you assume things, and that means you take things personally. Not everything is about YOU!
'Find your voice and ask for what you want.'
'Ask questions, and you won't assume things. Make sure communication is clear. If you don't understand something, ask! Never assume you know everything there is to know about a given situation.' The odds are that you never will.
The Four Agreements are:
1. Be impeccable with your word
2. Don't take anything personally
3. Don't make assumptions
4. Always do your best
I made one a few days ago, and I broke one of The Four Agreements in the process.
I assumed. The Third Agreement is: Don't Make Assumptions.
I let a 'judger' get in my way, and I let that parasite cloud my own judgment! And then I became a victim, and I blamed someone for my hurt.
I'm a spiritual person…not religious but pretty spiritual. And I really believe in the Toltec's wisdom of the Four Agreements. And I feel pretty bad to have broken one of them.
Some of what I'm about to write is taken directly our of the book, The Four Agreements. Some of it is paraphrased or my own words. But I want to share with folks out there about this important agreement. And you should go read this book if you haven't already. The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz.
We all have a tendency to make assumptions….about everything! If the cashier at the store is in a bad mood, we tend to get all pissed off thinking that she is pissed at us or being rude to us. But what if she just found out her dog died? We should not assume anything about her. If someone you tells you something, a secret/rumor, we should not assume it is true.
The huge issue with assumptions is that we take them personally. We take them personally b/c we actually believe it is real or that it is the truth. If you do not assume things, then you wouldn't take everything so personally…and you wouldn't blame anyone for anything, and then your life would be so much more merrier. You could be an owner!!! An owner of your own emotions! An owner of your spirit.
I really hate drama. There are so many people out there though that seem to love it. They live for it. Maybe that is why so many people love reality television. They live for other people's drama. However, drama causes emotional poison.
True, life is full of drama. But in reality, drama is really only how you perceive it to be. We control our emotions. We can change our own perceptions. Sure, we cannot control everything or anyone around us, but we can control how we are going to react. It is a choice. You can choose to be happy or you can choose to suffer. As harsh as that may sound, it is true. I see kids with cancer who are so happy…they are smiling. Deep down they suffer from a horrible disease, but they are owners of their spirit, and they are not victims. If they can still be happy, then why can't we? People take for granted all kinds of shit!
Ok, back to the real subject at hand….sorry!
One way to create drama is to gossip. I hate gossip and I can't stand it when people do it. Do you not have anything else better to do in your life besides sit around and talk about other people? I know that I am guilty too. I'm not perfect, but gossip really sux. It can cause a lot of heartache for the ones who are involved, and it is ugly. It hurts people.
People will believe or rather assume the gossip is true because they are afraid to ask for clarification. Instead people believe the gossip. They assume it is true, they believe they are right so they defend their assumptions by blaming someone else for it. Why couldn't they just ask that person?
Assuming things makes us suffer...it clouds your judgment. It is better to ask questions, instead of assume. And just as that holds true in relationships, it holds true at work too, right? If you don't ask questions and you just assume things, you probably aren't going to get the job done right.
When you make assumptions, you are only asking for problems. In relationships, it leads to a lot of fights, a lot of difficulties, a lot of misunderstandings…
Humans have the need to justify everything. Why? Why do we need to be validated all the time?
'Often when you go into a relationship, you have to justify why you like that person. You only see what you want to see and deny the things you don't want to see. You lie to yourself to make yourself right. (Another interesting fact after the first 3 months of dating...you start really seeing the real person...for who they really are) Then you make assumptions, and one of them is, 'My love will change this person. But this is not true. Your love doesn't change anyone! If someone changes, it is only b/c that person wants to change, not b/c you want them to. Then something happens between the two of you, and you get hurt. Suddenly you see what you didn't want to see before. But now, it is amplified by your own emotional poison. Now you have to be validated and so you blame them for your own choices.'
'Real love is accepting other people the way they are…without trying to change them. If you try to change someone, it means you don't really like them.'
'If others feel they have to change you, that really means they don't love you just the way you are.' I refuse to date someone or even have friends in my life who try to change me.
If I have to be someone else, then that means I am fake…I am a false image. I don't want to represent a false image. I am who I am. If you don't like it, then fuck off! I really admire people who live with this principle. It is hard. It is so hard to be this way…to not worry what other people will think of you…to wonder what they are saying behind your back. It is so rare to meet someone who actually loves you for you! This is something i really need to work on is not caring what others think and just focus on being me. I let others be who they are, right? So why do I always end up apologizing for who I am?
I really hate it when people judge me or people try to change who I am. Therefore I would never try to do that to someone else. Besides, I wouldn't want to date someone just like me…I would never learn anything new from that person. I don't want to control anyone or change them.
I can't stand it when folks tell me rumors about someone…if you don't know if it is true, you shouldn't be repeating it. Never assume anything. And why do people always seem to start shit, and then end it all by saying, 'Well, I just don't want to be in the middle of it.' Well, why did you start it in the first place?
I also can't stand it when folks are passive aggressive…or try to use that shit on me. I am blunt, so if something I say rubbed you the wrong way, then just ask me straight up about it. Don't assume that I am angry at you or don't assume that I'm in a bad mood, etc. ,etc. I would rather be brutally honest or hear brutal honesty than for someone to be passive aggressive. Passive aggressive behavior means you assume things, and that means you take things personally. Not everything is about YOU!
'Find your voice and ask for what you want.'
'Ask questions, and you won't assume things. Make sure communication is clear. If you don't understand something, ask! Never assume you know everything there is to know about a given situation.' The odds are that you never will.
The Four Agreements are:
1. Be impeccable with your word
2. Don't take anything personally
3. Don't make assumptions
4. Always do your best
December 10, 2008 - Amos Lee's Bottom of the Barrel
"Bottom Of The Barrel"
I keep on livin',
to keep from cryin'.
I keep on dreamin',
to keep from dyin'.
I keep on trying,
I aint gonna stop.
Get right down to the bottom of the barrel and float back on top.
We all know someone,
whos always hurtin',
The sun is shinin',
they draw the curtain.
One thing for certain,
the pain aint gonna stop.
You get right down to the bottom of the barrel and float back on top.
Cuz i know the grass,
is always greener in someone else's yard.
And the world is so much meaner,
when your heart is hard.
I go out walkin',
in any season.
It could be rainin',
it could be freezin'.
I don't need no reason,
it's just so pleasin'.
And i can't stop.
You get right down to the bottom of the barrel and float back on top.
I keep on livin',
to keep from cryin'.
I keep on dreamin',
to keep from dyin'.
I keep on trying,
I aint gonna stop.
Get right down to the bottom of the barrel and float back on top.
We all know someone,
whos always hurtin',
The sun is shinin',
they draw the curtain.
One thing for certain,
the pain aint gonna stop.
You get right down to the bottom of the barrel and float back on top.
Cuz i know the grass,
is always greener in someone else's yard.
And the world is so much meaner,
when your heart is hard.
I go out walkin',
in any season.
It could be rainin',
it could be freezin'.
I don't need no reason,
it's just so pleasin'.
And i can't stop.
You get right down to the bottom of the barrel and float back on top.
November 26, 2008 - Ten Things by Paul Baribeau
name ten things you wanna do before you die and then go do them.
name ten places you really wanna be before you die and then go to them
name ten books you wanna read before you die and then go read them
name ten songs you wanna hear again before you die, get all of your friends together and scream them
because right now all you have is time time time yeah,
but someday that time will run out.
that's the only thing you can be absolutely certain about.
think of all the things that are wrong with your life and then fix them
think of all the things that you love about your life, be thankful you are blessed with them
think of all the things that hold you back and realize that you don't need them
think of all the mistakes you have made in your life, make sure that you never repeat them
because right now all you have is time time time yeah,
but someday that time will run out.
that's the only thing you can be absolutely certain about.
name ten thousand reasons why you never wanna die, go and tell someone who might've forgotten
try to list the endless reasons why it's good to be alive, and then just smile for awhile about them
soon the sun will rise and another day will come
soon enough the sun will set, another day will be gone
and right now all you have is time time time yeah,
but someday that time will run out.
that's the only thing you can be absolutely certain about.
name ten places you really wanna be before you die and then go to them
name ten books you wanna read before you die and then go read them
name ten songs you wanna hear again before you die, get all of your friends together and scream them
because right now all you have is time time time yeah,
but someday that time will run out.
that's the only thing you can be absolutely certain about.
think of all the things that are wrong with your life and then fix them
think of all the things that you love about your life, be thankful you are blessed with them
think of all the things that hold you back and realize that you don't need them
think of all the mistakes you have made in your life, make sure that you never repeat them
because right now all you have is time time time yeah,
but someday that time will run out.
that's the only thing you can be absolutely certain about.
name ten thousand reasons why you never wanna die, go and tell someone who might've forgotten
try to list the endless reasons why it's good to be alive, and then just smile for awhile about them
soon the sun will rise and another day will come
soon enough the sun will set, another day will be gone
and right now all you have is time time time yeah,
but someday that time will run out.
that's the only thing you can be absolutely certain about.
October 31, 2008
The marathon was last weekend. I ended up raising a total of $1960. All together, we raised 2.8 million dollars!
All of this money stays in NC and SC. It goes to breast cancer research to help find a cure for future generations, to minority women, to uninsured women, to help educate women on getting exams and about prevention, etc., etc.
All of this money stays in NC and SC. It goes to breast cancer research to help find a cure for future generations, to minority women, to uninsured women, to help educate women on getting exams and about prevention, etc., etc.
I walked beside great women that weekend. I walked with survivors and women who have breast cancer. I walked with women who have moms with breast cancer. And I walked with women who lost their moms to breast cancer. All of the stories touched me.One girl, I met who was walking alone said her mother had been diagnosed twice. She was on chemo now, and the first time her mother went through chemo, her father died. Just really sad. It seemed all my problems just melted away.
Mile 26 on the first day:
This was probably one of the hardest things I've done yet in my life.
Me at the finish:
The second day was the half marathon, and it was over.Me signing the participant banner:
My parents were there to support me. They showed up at a few of the cheering stations. It ended up being a great weekend, even though we all started off in the rain Saturday morning.
It was long and tiring. But every step was so worth it!October 2008 - sad
I heard a rumor that my gym is closing down. I'm really in the dumps about it.
I know I am whining, but I really love the gym I go to. It's like family in there.
It has classes, weights and weight machines, etc. and 2 boulder rooms and climbing walls! No other gym in Columbia has climbing.
This gym basically saved my life. I was at a turning point in my life and decided to make some changes, and I rejoined at Stronghold again.
That is where I did my trapeze lessons too.
Stronghold is the only gym I've been to where it feels like home. Everyone is friendly...like family. You don't have to have this perfect type body to work out there either. I hate those kind of gyms. Stuck up perfect body types in there only. Yuk! Spa type gyms! Ugh!
Stronghold is like Cheers for me, where everybody knows my name.
You don't get that type of treatment anywhere else.
I've made a ton of friends there climbing and in my yoga classes.
I am so depressed right now. I spend a lot of my free time in this place. It is my saving grace. I escape reality there. I can't imagine my life without this gym!
I try to be postive about things in my life. I know things could be so much worse. I know there are people dying in 3rd world countries and people who don't even have climbing gyms near them at all. BUT this is real to me too. This is something real that is happening to me, and I can be sad about it, right?
I feel exhausted over it. I am so sad.
Anyway, it is breaking my heart! I hope this is just one sorry ass rumor!!!
October 15, 2008
I have some good news!
I have raised more than my goal for my marathon! :)
My goal was to raise $1800 minimum. I have raised $1860 so far!
I am walking a marathon and a half October 25 & 26. It will be 39+ miles!
I am raising funds along with a thousand others for the fight against breast cancer...to help minorites w/ breast cancer...to help educate about breast cancer...for research for a cure...etc., etc.
It's a great cause! I'm so glad to be able to walk for this and be part of such an awesome event!
I am lucky in a lot of ways in my life. Having had FMS since I was 25, I am lucky to do a lot of the things I do. A lot of women with FMS my age are already disabled. I can participate in this, I rock climb, I mow my own yard and trim the hedges, etc., I work out. It hurts but I keep moving.
But what I have is nothing compared to what breast cancer patients have or go through!!! I am very fortunate to be able to walk for this cause, and since I can, I am! These women are fighters. Breast cancer is a huge struggle that I can't even fathom.
I hope that in my life that no matter what kind of pain I have or what ails me or how scared I might be, that I will always have the courage to "saddle up".
October 2008
I had the most amazing time this weekend!!!
Me on top of Hanging Rock:
This weekend, Kevin and I climbed together at Moore's Wall in NC on Saturday.
He is leading trad now. I have been climbing off and on with him and Richard all summer. It's been a ton of fun. I have learned so much from both of them.I like cleaning trad. It's fun and challenging.
Me on Wailing Wall:
Sunday, we just hung around and took awesome pics up at Hanging Rock. We just goofed around all day. So much fun!
I love my climbing partners that I have. :)October 10, 2008 - I Hope You Dance
I hope you never lose your sense of wonder
You get your fill to eat
But always keep that hunger
May you never take one single breath for granted
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed
I hope you still feel small
When you stand by the ocean
Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens
Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance
I hope you dance
I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Living might mean taking chances
But they're worth taking
Lovin' might be a mistake
But it's worth making
Don't let some hell bent heart
Leave you bitter
When you come close to selling out
Reconsider
Give the heavens above
More than just a passing glance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance
(Time is a real and constant motion always)
I hope you dance
(Rolling us along)
I hope you dance
(Tell me who)
I hope you dance
(Wants to look back on their youth and wonder)
(Where those years have gone)
I hope you still feel small
When you stand by the ocean
Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens
Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
Dance
I hope you dance
I hope you dance
(Time is a real and constant motion always)
I hope you dance
(Rolling us along)
I hope you dance
(Tell me who)
(Wants to look back on their youth and wonder)
I hope you dance
(Where those years have gone)
(Tell me who)
I hope you dance
(Wants to look back on their youth and wonder)
(Where those years have gone)
I Hope You Dance by Leanne Womack
You get your fill to eat
But always keep that hunger
May you never take one single breath for granted
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed
I hope you still feel small
When you stand by the ocean
Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens
Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance
I hope you dance
I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Living might mean taking chances
But they're worth taking
Lovin' might be a mistake
But it's worth making
Don't let some hell bent heart
Leave you bitter
When you come close to selling out
Reconsider
Give the heavens above
More than just a passing glance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance
(Time is a real and constant motion always)
I hope you dance
(Rolling us along)
I hope you dance
(Tell me who)
I hope you dance
(Wants to look back on their youth and wonder)
(Where those years have gone)
I hope you still feel small
When you stand by the ocean
Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens
Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
Dance
I hope you dance
I hope you dance
(Time is a real and constant motion always)
I hope you dance
(Rolling us along)
I hope you dance
(Tell me who)
(Wants to look back on their youth and wonder)
I hope you dance
(Where those years have gone)
(Tell me who)
I hope you dance
(Wants to look back on their youth and wonder)
(Where those years have gone)
I Hope You Dance by Leanne Womack
August 30, 2008
Friends,
Did you know that three million women are living with breast cancer-and one third don’t even know it? Even more startling, breast cancer kills approximately one woman every 14 minutes, robbing us of our mothers and grandmothers, our sisters and aunts, cousins and best friends. No one knows what causes breast cancer or how it can be prevented and there is no known cure.
Knowing this, I just won’t accept that there’s nothing I can do. And, since cancer has unfortunately touched my family, I feel even more compelled to do something-anything-to bring us one step closer to finding a cure and ending the suffering. I’ll be joining thousands of others in the Charlotte, NC area to walk 39+ miles in the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer.
I’ve considered doing this for the past few years, and this year I said: “NO MORE EXCUSES!” As part of this commitment, I have agreed to raise at least $1,800 for the Avon Foundation Breast Cancer Crusade. Since 1992, the Avon Foundation Breast Cancer Crusade has returned more than $250 million for the cause. That money is distributed to five critical areas: medical research, clinical care, support services, education and early detection programs.
While researchers have made significant progress in the last few years, there’s still more that needs to be done. I know that the journey I’m about to take head on doesn’t begin to compare with the challenges that cancer patients and their families endure. So, for each blister and each muscle cramp, for every time I think I can’t possibly go any father, I’ll be humbled… recognizing the small sacrifice I’m making on behalf of millions of women everywhere. I’ll think of those who have lost the battle and of those who fight fearlessly everyday. Victory for me will be crossing the finish line and surpassing my fundraising goal, and I hope you’ll be a part of it.
I ask that you please take this opportunity to honor the women you love by donating to the cause. Give whatever you can - every dollar really does help. If you would like further information on the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer, please visit www.avonwalk.org.
I thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for your support and encouragement in this big undertaking. When I hit the road, I’ll know that you were a special part of my journey and of the journey of so many others along the way.
Sincerely,
Sue:)
You can go to www.avonwalk.org and click on Make A Donation.
Then Click on Donate To A Participant
Then enter Sue Watson
It will connect you to my web page. There, you can click on the pink box and make a donation to help fight against breast cancer!
Did you know that three million women are living with breast cancer-and one third don’t even know it? Even more startling, breast cancer kills approximately one woman every 14 minutes, robbing us of our mothers and grandmothers, our sisters and aunts, cousins and best friends. No one knows what causes breast cancer or how it can be prevented and there is no known cure.
Knowing this, I just won’t accept that there’s nothing I can do. And, since cancer has unfortunately touched my family, I feel even more compelled to do something-anything-to bring us one step closer to finding a cure and ending the suffering. I’ll be joining thousands of others in the Charlotte, NC area to walk 39+ miles in the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer.
I’ve considered doing this for the past few years, and this year I said: “NO MORE EXCUSES!” As part of this commitment, I have agreed to raise at least $1,800 for the Avon Foundation Breast Cancer Crusade. Since 1992, the Avon Foundation Breast Cancer Crusade has returned more than $250 million for the cause. That money is distributed to five critical areas: medical research, clinical care, support services, education and early detection programs.
While researchers have made significant progress in the last few years, there’s still more that needs to be done. I know that the journey I’m about to take head on doesn’t begin to compare with the challenges that cancer patients and their families endure. So, for each blister and each muscle cramp, for every time I think I can’t possibly go any father, I’ll be humbled… recognizing the small sacrifice I’m making on behalf of millions of women everywhere. I’ll think of those who have lost the battle and of those who fight fearlessly everyday. Victory for me will be crossing the finish line and surpassing my fundraising goal, and I hope you’ll be a part of it.
I ask that you please take this opportunity to honor the women you love by donating to the cause. Give whatever you can - every dollar really does help. If you would like further information on the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer, please visit www.avonwalk.org.
I thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for your support and encouragement in this big undertaking. When I hit the road, I’ll know that you were a special part of my journey and of the journey of so many others along the way.
Sincerely,
Sue:)
You can go to www.avonwalk.org and click on Make A Donation.
Then Click on Donate To A Participant
Then enter Sue Watson
It will connect you to my web page. There, you can click on the pink box and make a donation to help fight against breast cancer!
Saturday, December 26, 2009
October 9, 2008
"7 out of 10 girls think that they are not good enough."
I remember how it was when I was 13...how bad society and peer pressure was. Being made fun of because your clothes weren't in style or because you were taller than the rest of the girls or because you didn't "fill out" quite as fast...or just many other reasons why girls don't feel like they fit in....another one being how much money their parents make, what kind of car you drive, how pretty you are....and then with the boys it was, "she doesn't put out"!
Even in my 30s, I still get these feelings from today's society. I am so glad I was 13 in the 80s instead of today's time. What kids go through today has got to be so much harder. My niece has to grow up watching Hannah Montanna and listening to Brittany Spears!
I know how these girls feel, because I was one of them. Being a teen is hard...
That is why I feel it so important to have mentors.
I've seen the commercials about what Dove has been doing to help young girls, and I'm really interested in all of this.
I know things come to us in time. We aren't supposed to know what we want at any certain point in our lives. This is something I am really interested in as well as going back to school. I want to be passionate about a career, but I also want to give back.
The other day I made a comment to a co-worker about wishing I had figured all of this out when I was 18. She said things come to us when we are ready. The Universe has its own plan for us.
September 18, 2008
I know it's been awhile, and I haven't posted anything here lately.
I've been on a few climbing trips too and I haven't even written about them.
I went back to the New River Gorge Labor day weekend. It was a fun trip. I met some more new friends. :)
I caught my first lead fall at the New. :) It was my partner's first lead fall too.
My climbing trip to The Gunks in upstate New York was canceled. :(
I have also met a guy. :) I'm really happy! Still in the beginings phase...trying to keep things cool.
I'm also busy with my marathon stuff and I've already raised $1100. I still have $700 to go. I wrote a blog about it awhile back. If anyone here would like to help donate, that would be awesome. Just visit my blog. Every little penny helps!
I still have a lot of training walks to do before the marathon.
Anyways, sorry I haven't written anything here lately. I'm happy in my life right now...so all is good.
I hope everyone else is great too!
July 31, 2008 - Mountaineering Women
I borrowed this book from my sister.
It's called Mountaineering Women, Stories by Early Climbers by David Mazel.
Anyways, I can't wait to start reading it.
Apparently women were making first ascents back in the 1800's in rock climbing and mountaineering! It is just now coming about that these women are getting recognition for what they did back then. (Imagine that?)
It looks so interesting. There are pics in there with regular static ropes and the gear they used back then was just crazy! And women climbed in those hideous dresses they had to wear back then. Can you believe it? Not until the early 1900's does it show them in pants!
I can't wait to read more. When I do, I'll come back to this blog.
Women are bad ass! Not only do we go through the pains and labor of childbirth and PMS, but we nurture and care for our families and we endure so much in so many different ways, and on top of all that we do, we can still do what any man out there can do!
And to think we had to fight all those years to be recognized, have rights, vote, work, etc. ...climb mountains...
July 7, 2008 - Slippery when Wet - Seneca Rocks, WV July 4th weekend 2008
If there is anything I can say about myself right now in my life...is that I'm building character. At least, that is what is my new friend and partner, Jeremy, told me this past weekend when I climbed with him at Seneca Rocks, West Virginia. I'm just trying to evolve and become a person I want to be and one that I love.
Seneca Rocks:
This July 4th weekend was one of the best ones ever! I did some of the hardest climbing/cleaning I have ever done in my life. Some of the scariest too...On the way home from this trip, I was desperately looking for a radio station to come in on my broken cd /stereo player. We were in BFE. As I was scanning stations, the first song to come in was a song by Leanne Womack, called I Hope You Dance. It blew me away to hear that song as I was leaving the most amazing crag I had been to yet in my life!!!
I climbed the hardest multi-pitch routes 5.7 ever in my life up at Seneca Rocks, WV this weekend (it is really sandbagged there) where when I got to the top of the 2nd pitch of this one route called The Green Wall (on the second day), I literally started crying. After all the events out on the rock that weekend, which I'll explain in this blog, I was really scared when I made it up that 110 feet of that pumpy, vertical 2nd pitch. I had a lot of emotions going on inside of me. I was embarrassed to have cried in front of Jeremy. I kind of lost it up there. As we were chilling there, he patted me on the back and said, "Sue this is what it's all about, and you want to know something else? You're building character right now." I'll never forget it.
I'll never forget this past weekend! I was so scared and felt so accomplished all at once. I couldn't believe I made it up that route. I said, "I can't believe I did it. I can't believe I made it." as tears started welling up. Jeremy said, "Guess what? You did it Sue. You made it. You didn't give up." (even though I yelled "take!" and then "sorry" like every few feet towards the end of that pitch...haha) However, I chose to "dance instead of sitting it out". I thought the song I heard on the way home kinda fit this weekend perfectly.
Anyways, so yeah, I climbed at Seneca Rocks in West Virginia on July 4th and 5th. It's all trad and multi-pitch. It's sandbagged too. It's all very vertical and pumpy. It's the hardest and scariest climbing I have ever done in my life!!! lol
We all stayed at Seneca Shadows Campground.
Our site:
I was the first one there, so I picked a very cool spot for my tent with the best view. It was awesome!!!
The view from our campsite was just amazing:
I met my partner (my leader) on MySpace actually. He had been there before and loves to climb. He's really an awesome climber too. I told him in an email conversation one evening that I wanted to climb with my group at Seneca, but that I couldn't find a leader...so I didn't think I was going to get to go. He offered. :)
So i drove 7 hours to go climb with him!!! And to meet a new friend.
It wouldn't be the first time I went the distance to meet a new friend and hang out.
Jeremy was great! We had so much fun. We hit it off. He cracks me up.
And I am one huge DORK! haha He didn't seem to mind. He got along really well with everyone in our group too.
So i drove 7 hours to go climb with him!!! And to meet a new friend.
It wouldn't be the first time I went the distance to meet a new friend and hang out.
Jeremy was great! We had so much fun. We hit it off. He cracks me up.
And I am one huge DORK! haha He didn't seem to mind. He got along really well with everyone in our group too.
The first day, we woke up to a drizzle. But it cleared up. I had heard the weather was really strange up there at Seneca Rocks. I wasn't prepared for what I would experience that weekend though. :pThe approach was one of the hardest ones I've ever been on. Seriously. Downclimbing that approach was also tough in the rain! I actually fell a few feet off of a scramble on the first day. Scary. I didn't get hurt, but when I lost my foothold and started to slide down the wet rock, all these thoughts flashed through my mind. It happened so fast. Sometimes I am more scared on the scrambles and the approaches. One wrong step and bam! Your ankle...scary!
The first day, we climbed a route called Prune. It was a 5.7. I told Jeremy it was the hardest 5.7 I had ever climbed. It is 4 pitches, but we did it as two.
I also learned some more things about trad this weekend. Route finding! I didn't realize how hard it is to find the routes and not get off route. It's scary. I mean, even if you read your guide book! Which we took with us.
I thought the first pitch of Prune was a true 5.7. I was very comfy on it. :)
Then I moved up and through the 2nd pitch. The last part of the 2nd pitch is the crux. It was tough for me. Finger crack lie back. My right foot slipped twice, but I finally made it! Trust me, you don't want to hang out there for too long. We chilled out for a few at the top of the 2nd pitch.
On the second pitch of Prune waving to Kevin:
The 3rd pitch was challenging, but I can't really remember it though. Weird. It was pretty vertical but there were holds and such, horizontal cracks, maybe...just it took a lot of endurance..nothing was very slopey here. It was a true 5.7 probably. I'm just not use to long vertical pitches. NC climbing is a lot different than Seneca Rocks.
My buddy, Kevin:
The 4th pitch was a scramble up over this gulley thing. It was just scrambling but it was tough b/c you are so high up. We get to the top of this one part of the summit, but not The Summit. We were lost. We did not see the fixed anchors, and no rap station nearby. It starts to rain. The sky looked so scary:
We needed to hurry up and get off, so I had to down climb. I've never done this outdoors. (I hate it in the gym) It was really scary. I down climb and then Jeremy lowered me into that gulley/cave thing. It started raining harder. I asked him if we should stay put for awhile. We were out of the weather. I felt safe in there. And besides I had to piss! As did he. He took one corner and I took the other! lol
We stayed in there for maybe 5 to 10 minutes and the rain stopped. But it still did not look good. We set up a rap station. There was a tree, and we used a sling backed with another sling/webbing and 2 biners. We were having trouble finding the one that was at the top of Prune, so we had to rap from the 3rd pitch. As we were setting up, it was drizzling a bit. Jeremy went first, and I went 2nd. Rock is slippery when wet! As is Lichen!!! It was a scary rap down to Old Man's Ledge.
When we got down to that ledge, we couldn't get the rope down. So Jeremy climbed back up to see what the problem was. As he was about to climb back up and get the rope unstuck, he said "Awesome! Hell yeah, I get to climb this route again...in the rain!" He is amazing, b/c he always stays positive. It wasn't a pain for him to go fix the rope. He saw it as another opportunity to climb. You know? And he was probably being sarcastic too, but he LOVES climbing...
"Successful leaders see the opportunities in every difficulty, rather than the difficulty in every opportunity." - Reed Markham, American Writer, Salt Lake Community College
As he was climbing up, the sky went totally white. You couldn't see out anywhere. It was the freakiest thing ever...like something out of a Stephen King novel or something. I'm just glad that no scary creature came and took me off the ledge and ate me!!! (Did you see Stephen King's, In the Midst?) Anyways, it was both awesome and frightening. You couldn't see down at all. All I could hear were voices of other climbers yelling out things like, "Wow!" WTF?" "Hey guys, do you see this?" "Holy crap!" "Ive never seen anything like this before dude", etc.
Anyways, what a day!
Once we retrieved the rope, we went over to another ledge where the Seneca Climbing School had set up a huge rap station to avoid traffic jams that weekend. Actually, my friends were there from my group waiting to rappell. They had hired a guide for their leader. He was a guide with that climbing school. We all used that rope to rap down.
We hiked out in the rain.
The misty fog was finally starting to dissipate!
I survived my first day of climbing at Seneca Rocks!
That evening, we hung out at The Front Porch. It is the Seneca Rocks pizza place.
We drank free beer at the gear shop there and hung out with other climbers, etc. for most of the evening. Fun times! :)I bought a t-shirt, souveneir and some stickers.
I love that "town" of Seneca Rocks. Everyone was so nice and open minded. So laid back and non-judgmental. All the climbers at the crag were so nice. I LOVE it! I really have never felt like I have ever fit in any kind of scene in my whole life. And even though, I'm not even climbing hard at all yet, I feel like I have finally found a niche of people I feel connected to. :)
I LOVE climbing!
Saturday morning was awesome! The sun was shining! Jeremy and I got a late start.
We got on The Green Wall. A 5.7. Let me tell you, it was tough! This did not in any way feel at all like a 5.7. Jeez! So, I guess now I should be able to follow on a 5.9 in NC. ;-)
The first pitch was ok. Not too bad.
I got stressed though when I anchored in at the belay station. It started drizzling. I got scared. I just didn't want the weather we had the day before to come back again. It really scared me. I fought back tears. I just looked away from Jeremy. I was quiet for awhile...
I think he knew I was scared.
I was fine when I started up the 2nd pitch. The moves were hard as hell. It was completely vertical. I started out good though, but I had 110 feet to go though. It was a pumpy, vertical dyhedral.
There was a moment when I almost lost it. It started to drizzle again. Every time it drizzled, I would panic. Jeez! "Could it please just stay clear to climb for one day? Please????" Aggravating! But I just kept thinking, "this is all a part of climbing, Sue. You gotta deal. No whining! It's all mother nature around us."
Then I got to this bulge section. I was like "shit". Jeremy yells out, "the holds are there Sue. Use your eyes. I promise they are there." I look around. And I look down and around as well. I was so amazed as what I was climbing on! How high up I was. And then I had to clean a stopper. Damn it! You've gotta be kidding me! I barely have anything to hold onto and now I have to get out my nut tool? Sometimes these things come out easy and other times they are a huge pain! At least it was not a tri-cam!
Then as I move up, there seemed to be no holds. WTF? I kept looking around like Jeremy said. I found one. Yes! Then I was stuck again. Jeez! Ugh! Then all I could think about was, "What would Richard tell me if he were right here giving me beta?" He's climbed with me a lot lately. He knows my level and how I climb and what I'm capable of. I also thought "what would Billy do?" (my friend from Fox guides) I kept looking and all of a sudden it came to me. All the answers were there to help me. Then after that section, I was pumped. I kept yelling "Take!" like after every few feet. I was getting closer to Jeremy. I could see him and hear him again. It felt so good to be able to hear him and see him up there! Whew. I finally made it.
I cried when I reached that belay station. hahaThe pic below is the route Tomato.
We met this couple at the very start of the day. This chic, Samantha, who was with this guy, she did Climb for Life. I saw the sticker on her helmet, and I knew what it was. She is a survivor of ovarian cancer. She also volunteers with breast cancer fund raising. She was awesome to meet and talk to. I told her about my marathon in October to raise funds for breast cancer. She was a very inspiring person to meet. :)
I love givers. True philanthropists. They do things for others not to make money or to obtain some kind of recognition for it. Their whole sole being is about making and seeing others happy. That is why they do things they do. It is the outcome of knowing that what they have done for someone that helps that person live a fuller life...that is the reason they do what they do.One of my friends told me that once. He wouldn't let me pay him for taking me out on the rock (he is a full time guide and rock instructor). It was during his off season. He said he liked seeing others live fuller lives because of what he had taught them. He wanted to be able to make a difference. He said money comes into your hands as easy as it goes out. Money isn't everything. Money is not wisdom, knowledge/truth is wisdom. He liked learning and helping others learn.
Anyways, we finally got to the Summit! Yay! I have never summitted something of this nature before.
Jeremy:
Some other climbers were already on the summit:
They didn't even use climbing shoes!!! They climbed up in boots! They are alpinists, and they were training for another trip that was coming up soon for them.
I got to sign the summit log book. It was stored inside of this old military box.
There were all kinds of items in that box! Funny!!!There was barely any room for us all to be up there!
I was a little sketched out up there! You're not anchored in. It is a 10 foot wide summit, no where to anchor into! Freaky!!!
To the west on the summit:
To the east on the summit:
Jeremy and I:
This made everything so worth it! Reaching the summit! Wow!I've summitted before, but not a place like this!
(I look so much like my dad)There's just something about multi-pitch. It's so challenging and you feel so much more accomplished after reaching the summit. This is why I love multi-pitch. I get off on it. There is nothing quite like it. And I also love hearing the sounds of jingle bells all day! (trad gear jingling off of harnesses)
I need to learn how to organize my harness on the way up to meet my partner, so I don't have a huge bird's nest on me! LOL
I survived day two of Seneca Rocks:
"Things may look dismal at the moment, but everything happens for a reason. Fear is just a distraction of your mind, but destiny lives inside a heart of hope, and dreams come true before your eyes.""Rule your mind, or it will rule you."
"All we are is the result of what we have thought."
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