April 16, 2008 - You Go Girl!!!

Biggest Loser

You go girl!!!

Ali Vincent, you are an inspiration to me and every woman out there!

It just shows anyone that you can truly reach your dreams and personally transform into who you really want to be.

"My physical being is a direct representation of what I feel inside, which is strong and confident and beautiful." - Ali Vincent, 1st Female Biggest Loser

If you can think it, you can be it.

I absolutely love this show!

Even though I do not struggle with weight issues such as the contestants on Biggest Loser, this show show is truly inspiring. I watch this show every Tuesday night. I cry tears of joy seeing these folks reach their goals and transform into new souls. It makes me very happy.

To watch someone go from no self-esteem and hating who they are to gaining self-confidence and awareness and loving themselves...it is a truly inspiring show.

April 15, 2008 - Breast Cancer Walk/fundraiser

So, I received my information packet in the mail.

Everything I read just sounds so fantastic about this event.

1. Raising money to help fight breast cancer (my aunt had it and my best friend's sister had it) 2. Walking a marathon and a half (i've never done anything like this before, so not only will 40 miles be very challenging, but it will be a whole new experience for me)
3. Meeting a ton of new inspiring friends, etc.


My orientation or introductory meeting is on April 19th.

April 4, 2008 - Need sponsors!!!

Avon Walk for Breast Cancer

So, I'm trying to decide right now whether to actually walk this marathon or be a crew member. (I think I will walk, but it is a huge monetary responsibilty)

If I walk, I'm going to need sponsors to support me so I can raise funds for breast cancer.
I will need to raise $1800 at the minimum!!! If I don't raise it on my own through my sponsors, I won't get to walk.

I found out that sponsors just donate what they can give. It doesn't have to be per mile or anything like that. If you want to give $5, you can. If you want to give $50, you can. I just have to raise the funds before the event takes place.

I will be asking for sponsors and will be doing my own fundraising. Apparently, I can have fundraiser events to raise my money to walk. :)

All of my friends out there reading my blogs...I hope you guys will sponsor me in this important event.

Please be my sponsor should I decide to walk, instead of work the crew.

Sponsor = donating to a charity = tax write off

April 2, 2008 - Tonight at City Art

SC Philharmonic - The Painted Violins


Tonight, I am going to this art opening with my friend, Dylan Fouste. He has entered his piece in this show. Look it up on the link. His piece is amazing!


It’s a charitable event. And we have tix to go to the symphony Saturday night!
Yay! I’ve really never been to a symphony before (I don't think???). I’m so excited. I’m thrilled that he asked me to go.

April 2, 2008 - MED WAR Volunteer

So, I did something I've never done before.

I volunteered for a medical Wilderness Adventure Race. They had it at Fort Gordon, GA the last weekend in March.

Anyways, it was one of the best experiences ever. I had a lot of fun and met some great new friends in the process! :)

I slept in my car for the weekend:

I need to buy some real camping gear...I'm still using stuff from high school and college.

Anyways, this race was about a 7 hour race.

It was a wilderness adventure race that was filled with all different kinds of medical scenarios.

There were a lot of EMTs, nursing students, firemen, med students, etc. and me! haha

I mean, I have watched ER since it first aired so...i was totally qualified to be there!!! j/k

I was a volunteer, not a racer.

I liked volunteering. :)

Brittany and I (in photo above) were put in a canoe and off we went to the island! I felt like I was on LOST or something. lol (I kept looking around for Jack!)

A goose on the island had just laid its eggs:

Or maybe she was still pregnant about to let them all out or something...i really can't remember. Anyways, we had to put up caution tape all around her area so that no one would disturb her.

Anyways, our particular scenario was pretty cool. The racers had teams of 4. They had to split into two's. Two teammates canoed to our island and the other two had to run to another portion (called Point B) to meet their teammates after they went through the scenario on our island.

The canoers had to go to several locations to retrieve these passcodes. Each passcode (if they were able to obtain them) had a certain score value to them.

The maximum number of points they could obtain was 4.

When they reached our island, we would log in the team and ask them for their passcodes. Then depending on how many points they got for their passcodes, that is how many paintballs they got.

See, when they got to our island, their scenario was that a bear was attacking them and they had to shoot at it to save their lives.

They shot at it with a sling shot and paint balls.

The bear after the race was over:

They couldn't find a photo of a grizzly. The only thing they could find was a polar bear!!! haha They called it the great white grizzly. LOL

So, if they got all the passcodes, then they got 4 shots at the bear, etc.

If they shot the bear, they got to proceed to Point B in the race.

If they missed, that meant the bear had gauged out their teammates' eyes. Therefore, one teammate had to bandage up the eyes of the other teammate and help him or her back in the canoe. Yes, they had to canoe to the other island with both eyes bandaged. They had totally rely on communication and trust of their teammate.

They canoed to the other island where the other two teammates were waiting to help them carry the canoe to the next portion of the race.

That was just one of the scenarios. There were so many more. We were on the island when it started raining. We finally made it back to camp and waited for the racers to come in to finish. It started storming.

It was freezing!

We had a party afterwards and watched a slide show of all the pics taken that day...and ate some really good food....BBQ and hash...and drank from a keg later that night!

Anyways, next year, I think I want to race. We'll see.

My friend's race team:

They finished in the top 10.

There were a total of 27 teams.

I had so much fun doing this. I met new friends. It was a great experience.

It was very interesting as well...as far as the medical scenarios went...burn victim, atv accident, identifying poisonous snakes, answering medical questions, wading through a swamp, mountain biking, building a shelter, etc. you name it, it was a part of the race.

During a break in the rain later that evening, we roasted marshmallows. Yummy! I love sitting around a camp fire. There is nothing quite like it sometimes. Telling jokes, reminiscing, etc.

still updating this blog

Not sure if anyone out there is reading, but I am still moving this blog from another blog site.

Thanks for reading though! :)

March 30, 2008 - HEAVEN

"Can’t close my eyes
They’re wide awake
Ev’ry hair on my body has got a thing for this place
Oh empty my heart I’ve got to make room for this feeling
so much bigger than me


It couldn’t be any more beautiful - I can’t take it in.


Weightless in love...unraveling
For all that’s to come and all that’s ever been
We’re back to the board
with every shade under the sun
Let’s make it a good one
It couldn’t be any more beautiful - I can’t take it in."


- Can’t Take It In by Imogen Heap

March 21, 2008 - Bouldering at RB

Insanity is defined as: doing the same thing over and over but expecting a different outcome.

This may seem true of bouldering. You think, "These dudes are insane. They keep doing the same thing over and over only to fall again in the same spot. Ridiculous!" However, it’s not really like that. We do the same thing over and over only to expect ONE outcome, which of course would be to send the damn boulder. To conquer it! And the worst part, it’s highly addictive.

So...I bouldered (or atleast tried) up at Rumbling Bald today with my new friend, Santana.

I climbed on a boulder problem that I tried back last September that took me forever to do back then. Today, I just went right up the thing, no problem. I can definitely tell a huge difference.

I tried some really neat problems. Bouldering is really hard. It is very challenging and fun. AND very frustrating! lolI try hard not to get so pissed off. Jeez!

I was finally able to do a manuever that involved putting my left foot’s heel up high. I’m not sure if it was really considered a heel hook or not, but it was fun. I didn’t think I would be able to do it, but I did.

There was one boulder that invloved a lot of friction climbing. I don’t know, I guess I tried that boulder about 15 times? I never sended it. :(

I tried like hell though.

I have a ton of scrapes and bruises.

Santana kept showing how to use my arms. I need to let them hang long/extended. I keep pulling myself up to my hands. It wears you out. I was making things way harder than they needed to be. haha But it’s kind of like ...there is just this pad down there to fall on, you know? I guess i keep going to a lock mode or something because I don’t want to fall. I need to practice that.

I also need to work on strength, etc. to be bale to move up the boulder from a sitting position. Very hard! I tried a few of those out, and I can’t even get my ass off the ground!!!

So, I’ll start practicing those at the gym.

LAter in the afternoon, we were walking around looking for boulders. We ran up on these 3 dudes. I’m not really sure that I’m going to get their names spelled right here, but here goes....Anthony, Dorian(?) and Emil(?). They are from New Hampshire. They were very nice and let Santana work in with them on this one boulder. (I don’t boulder so I have no clue what grade or the name of it) I had fun watching all them trying it out. They got me up on it. haha I did another heel hook maneuver thingy but the left handhold above me was this little crimp. It was hard, and I fell. It was fun though.

Then the 5 of us went over to another boulder area together. That was my last climb where I finally did a little heel hook action I mentioned earlier on in this blog. There was a climb beside mine called The Egg or something, anyways, I just watched them all climb and videoed and took some photos. They told me to give it a try. It wasn’t really in my range, but I gave it a shot. Of course, it was a sitting position starting out with a right foot hold and a left heel hook. I couldn’t even get my ass out of the sitting position! haha It was fun to try though.

I really did have a great time watching these guys have so much fun bouldering. And I really appreciate my friend, Santana, taking time out to show me stuff today.

I also learned what the little loop thing on my chalk bag was for! A toothbrush!!! haha I have always wondered what that thing was for. I knew it was for holding something, but I had no clue what! Now I know! hehe

Cheers to bouldering! Cheers to meeting new people, always! Cheers to getting out of my comfort zone again! Cheers to relaxing in a warm bath! My arms are so freakin’ sore.

Here are some pics of those dudes climbing that one boulder, the Egg or whatever...:

March 14, 2008 - Stuck in a Moment lyrics by U2

I’m not afraid
Of anything in this world
There’s nothing you can throw at me
That I haven’t already heard
I’m just trying to find
A decent melody
A song that I can sing
In my own company

I never thought you were a fool
But darling, look at you. Ooh.
You gotta stand up straight, carry your own weight
’Cause tears are going nowhere baby

You’ve got to get yourself together
You’ve got stuck in a moment
And now you can’t get out of it
Don’t say that later will be better
Now you’re stuck in a moment
And you can’t get out of it

I will not forsake
The colors that you bring
The nights you filled with fireworks
They left you with nothing
I am still enchanted
By the light you brought to me
I listen through your ears
Through your eyes I can see

You are such a fool
To worry like you do.. Oh
I know it’s tough
And you can never get enough
Of what you don’t really need now
My, oh my

You’ve got to get yourself together
You’ve got stuck in a moment
And you can’t get out of it
Oh love, look at you now
You’ve got yourself stuck in a moment
And you can’t get out of it
Oh lord look at you now
You’ve got yourself stuck in a moment
And you cant gt out of it

I was unconscious, half asleep
The water is warm ’til you discover how deep
I wasn’t jumping, for me it was a fall
It’s a long way down to nothing at all

You’ve got to get yourself together
You’ve got stuck in a moment
And you can’t get out of it
Don’t say that later will be better
Now you’re stuck in a moment
And you can’t get out of it

And if the night runs over
And if the day won’t last
And if your way should falter
Along this stony pass

It’s just a moment
This time will pass

March 10, 2008 - Anusara Yoga Workshop w/ John Friend

This past weekend, I attended John Friend's Anusara Yoga Workshop.

It was an amazing experience, let me tell you!

A whole weekend of yoga! :)

A whole weekend of spiritual awakening!

"Anusara means 'flowing with grace' by saying YES to the whole magical spectrum of life." - John Friend

John Friend developed this style of yoga. "Anusara yoga is one of the fastest growing and most sophisticated forms of yoga taught today."

"This style of yoga is known for its ability to 'Open the Heart' while aligning the physical form of the pose to its most elegant and artistic form. Each class is based on a philosophical theme woven through the class, by using precise bio-mechanical Principles of Alignment. These themes apply not only to our yoga practice but, more importantly, encourage us to live our yoga off the mat...to celebrate and align with the beauty and auspiciousness found in every day life."

I am so glad I participated in this workshop. I learned a lot more about myself.

I learned so much more about the yoga that I have been practicing for about 2 years now.

I bought a book at the workshop titled, Eastern Body, Western Mind. I can't wait to start reading it.

I just love learning new things...about life, love, people and about myself.

March 5, 2008 - Rock 101 w/ Fox Guides

I'll start this blog off with a quote.

"The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do."

So...I am learning how to climb and now I want to learn about the gear, the knots, the anchors, everything, etc. right?

Now, I have been climbing more in the gym and have been lucky to have met folks who climb outdoors, etc. Meeting folks who climb safe is important to me. That is why I hired Fox for my first time, and that is why I hired them again for a skills course. I want to learn more and feel safe at the same time.

It is not lame to hire a guiding service. Especially not lame since I hired Fox Mountain Guides.

Fox Mountain Guides

Go there and you can see their website. They are awesome! The website says enough.

I'm curious lately. I want to second and clean now. That's what I feel like I'm ready for right now. I really like it. I like the challenge of doing several pitches too. I would also like to top rope on some 9s and 10s outside, since now I'm seconding and cleaning on 7s and 8s. Those are still difficult for me! If I knew someone I could go climb with every weekend, I would go. It's not that I can't go climb every weekend or even during the week, it's finding someone who knows their shit to go climb with! Everyone has a life and people are busy...

"If your ship doesn't come in, swim out to it."

The course I took this weekend was called Rock 101.

Other folks canceled, so I got a one-on-one instructor for 2 days for the same price I would've normally paid. :)

My instructor:

(Karsten Delap)

It was great too. It was also very much worth the money!

There is a lot to learn with climbing. There is a lot to learn so that you are safe!

I'm just ready to learn a little bit more. So, I had a two day, one-on-one instructor this past weekend. I actually prefer that now, if I'm paying money. There is no group. There is no waiting around. It's just me and the instructor. I can ask all the questions I want and climb what I want, etc.

We climbed a lot. (for me, it was a lot!) He taught me so much this weekend. Not just showing me stuff or doing it all for me, but explaining things. Explaining the why's and the why not's! I seconded him and cleaned on each climb. So that is what I learned. I learned how a leader would set the anchor, and I learned about different anchors...the "anchor system" and how it works. I got my clove hitch knot down, finally, and how to anchor myself in at the belay station. All of this gear stuff and dealing with equipment takes me forever to learn. It's so overwhelming! We went over rappelling. I also learned more about my prusik cord. I got very comfortable with rappelling. I used to be very afraid of it. Some of this may seem so basic and simple to most of you guys who climb, but as a beginner, I'm trying to learn this as well as learning techniques with manuevers and footwork, etc. so it is a lot to learn.

I'm sure some of this I may forget, but it was worth it. I don't really plan to not use it and lose it. :)

I asked about setting top ropes, and it was verbally explained briefly, etc. However, we did not actually set up a top rope and I did not climb on any top ropes this weekend. I climbed all multi-pitch. I got to second and clean again. When I found out that I was the only one going on the cousre because of cancellations, that's what I asked for. I wanted to do all multi-pitch. I did not want to top-rope. That's the cool thing about hiring guides too. Even though it was a skills course, it is designed around what the client wants to learn as well.

I'm sure hanging a top-rope really isn't that difficult, but after yoga class Monday night, I felt really overwhelmed. I was trying to explain some of the things I had learned. I had anxiety as if I had studied really hard for a test and couldn't remember jack when I got to the classroom kind of anxiety.

So, I got sort of frustrated. Just because I paid for a two day course doesn't mean that I am going to be an expert with all the gear stuff. Whatever! I don't own any rope yet either...WTF?

Talking about it doesn't frustrate me. I like talking about climbing. I like asking questions. I like learning. I want to talk about it. And though I had an awesome instructor, it was a 101 course folks. I'm not going to know everything right now. I'm not going to come back from this trip knowing all this stuff like the back of my hand. I need practice. Once you get it, yeah it may seem so simple. But it's not at first. Not for me.

And I know once you get it, it's so simple, but then again one mistake can cost you your life, therefore, I need and want to know the why's and the why nots.
That's why I took the course...to learn some skill sets.

I refuse to get frustrated. I'm just going to keep working at it, and it will all connect and make sense soon enough.

I didn't set a top rope this weekend. Sorry to some of my other beginner friends out there. It was explained, but then again, I don't have rope either, so I can't hang a top-rope without rope for you guys to climb on it. Sorry. And with that said, it kind of went in one ear and out the other. I was trynig to learn seconding and cleaning. I'm trying and wanting to get that part down really good, so my partners don't have to set me up each time. You know? I want to know that stuff.

Now with a better understanding of things, when I actually get to physically set a top rope, I will most likely retain that information. And I also orderd 2 books yesterday. One is about top-ropes, the other is on rappelling techniques.

I like mulit-pitch. Right now, I like seconding and cleaning several pitches of a 7 or an 8. I like the one-on-one partnering that you have when you follow someone. I like the fact that I'm in the crux, and that my partner above who is encouraging me just moved through that crux. He/she knows where I am at that moment. And I have a goal to reach. I have to clean his gear and make it up there to him. I push myself more because I WANT to get up to him. You know? Also, I am learning. Everyone has a different learning curve. I also tend to not give up as fast when I am seconding and cleaning. If you're really struggling, your partner can sometimes pull you up just a tad to help get through one move, instead of you asking your belayer below you to lower you and giving up on the rest of the climb all together.

I learned a lot this weekend. I climbed a chimney this weekend. My first chimney. It was the 2nd pitch of Fruit Loops. I climbed a climb that was very pumpy and just plain weird (Fat Dog). It had crack climbing, lie backing, hand jamming, stemming and face climbing in this climb. It was crazy. It was hard as hell! It was scary and fun at the same time.

I told the instructor what I wanted, and I got it, and then some! These folks are super awesome folks! They are so nice, and they have so much hospitality that I can't even describe.

"Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundess. Kindness in giving creates love."

Love for the rock!!! lol I'm a dork!

So, Karsten took me to Rumbling Bald Saturday. We warmed up on Bee Tree, and i learned to rappel alone. Then we climbed all pitches of Fruit Loops. The 2nd pitch was a chimney! I learned to stem in there. I also learned how to maneuver and how to jam my hands.

This past weekend was my 3rd time up the 1st pitch and my first time up the chimney. I didn't fall on the 1st pitch. I felt way more relaxed this time. My breathing was actually better too. I've been trying to work on that.

So, here's me at the top of the first pitch. It was awesome! I'm inside of the chimney ready to go up!

Here are a few that Karsten took of me in the chimney:

On top of Fruit Loops with Lake Lure in the background:

I love climbing Fruit Loops! It is one of my favorite routes at Rumbling Bald.

We also went over and did Bear Hunt, etc.

I'm not really good at the real balancy face climbing yet. Here's a pic that Karsten took of a guy leading Bear Hunt:

View at the top of Bear Hunt:

(you can see Chimney Rock way off in the distance)

My lizard friend:

On Sunday, we went to Looking Glass to the south side. I wanted to get on Fat Dog and Gemini Crack. We did too. :) They were great.

We did Gemini first and then Fat Dog.

I took this pic of the first pitch of Gemini Crack before Karsten started leading. This was a 5.8.

This is a one pitch climb. You can break it into several pitches though if you want, but you have to build your own anchors. Karsten broke it out in 3 for me. I did really good on the first pitch. The second pitch was tough, and my ankles were getting really sore. Slab! Damn it! haha But I wanted to finish the climb though, so we did Gemini as 3 pitches. I rested as Karsten was soloing the last pitch. He was really fast. That made it really good for me, since my ankles are still so weak yet. But I made it up:

This is Fat Dog:

A really fun climb!

It took me a long time to get up Fat Dog. Poor Karsten! He had to pull me up a lot on this climb. He kept me tight, but I begged to be pulled up at some points. Half of my body was in a chimney/off-width and the other on the face at times. I mean, I was stemming it, lie backing it, just jamming everything to move myself up. It was crazy! I am so glad I did not do this climb back in November. I wasn't ready yet, and besides, I got to second and clean this baby! We only did one pitch.

Fat Dog and the Fruit Loops chimney are sick! (to me) It's the sickest thing I've done yet! Whoo-hoo! OMG! What a weekend!

I had an awesome weekend. I climbed harder and stronger than I ever have before.

I got to climb some new types of climbs.

Thank you Karsten! Thank you Fox Mountain Guides!

:)

One last quote for the day:

"Don't wait for time, make time!

Don't wait for love. Feel it.

Don't wait for money. Earn it.

Don't wait for the path. Find it.

Don't wait for opportunity. Create it.

Don't go for less. Get the best.

Don't compare. Be unique.

Don't fight for misfortune. Transform it.

Don't avoid failure. Use it.

Don't dwell on mistakes. Learn from them.

Don't back down. Go around.

Don't close your eyes. Open your mind.

Don't run from life. Embrace it."

- Bigvai Volcy

February 21, 2008 - Sense of Self

Sometimes in life, things make us question our own self-image. Maybe things that have been done to us, experiences, etc. or the way we were brought up...

The main question for me sometimes is: Why don't I have any boundaries? We are out of balance if we are sacrificing for others and hurting ourselves in the process. We need to remember to love and protect ourselves as well.

Sometimes I can be motivated by the dictates of others, and I even worry about what people think of me, even when I've gone the extra mile and then some for these people.

Becoming your own best friend is like any other relationship...it takes time.

Your sense of self is a lens through which you view the world, the people you deal with, and your own behavior. All the information that comes into your mind is processed through your sense of self. The pain we all bear from past hurts is great, and it can accumulate over time. We cannot dump it all at once. It takes time. It takes magic lens. We need to get to the heart of our self-esteem...the messages that form our personal doctrine about ourselves, the habits we use to put ourselves down for, the fear of committing to ourselves and stepping into life as a full human being. Isolate the villians that keep you bound...deal with them one by one.

Take stock of yourself. Knowing yourself means coming to terms with both your strengths and your weaknesses. The road starts with self knowledge.

No type is better than any other type. You may wish you were more like another type of person than yourself, but that does no good. The world needs all types to balance out. If you went to a zoo with all bears that would be boring. Every type has a host of good things! Everyone has strengths and weaknesses. Healthy living comes from using your strengths and working on your weaknesses.

Humility is good. It is good to know your limits. Humility understands that we need each other. All people are precious and that each person has individual gifts that are valuable. Whatever deeds we accomplish, we probably owe a great deal to other people. Humility keeps a balanced sense of self.

"We forfeit three-fourths of ourselves to be like other people." - Arthur Schopenhauer. This is sad but true. Some of our weaknesses are just parts of who we are that cannot be changed. We need to accept the things we cannot change and work on the ones we can. There are rumors that go around in your head...like, "I am no good." or "I'm not smart enough." or "I'm not pretty enough.", etc., etc. Sometimes these problems start b/c of other people. I'm not saying to live in the past, but you need to go back and identify these "villians". Sometimes a seed planted by an important person in your life can be the root of all weaknesses. We build on misunderstandings of the past. We can be convinced of shortcomings that don't even exist.

Misunderstandings occur b/c we are all still learning to read each other. Our personal doctrine becomes based on these misunderstandings. We need to go back and forgive those misunderstandings. We need to renounce their hold on us.

A lot of times, it seems, that someone may be struggling to maintain their own identity. Because of the way someone may have treated you, your sense of identity may still bear a lot of scars. This goes both ways. When you seek out the villians in your life, you cannot say that they are necessarily an evil person. You just say that that person has "damaged" you, and they may have had their own reasons...maybe they had to do what they did b/c of their own villians.

You have to accept the fact that some people do wrong...and sometimes it is for no good reason or no reason at all.

You have to forgive and then cut the cord in order to renounce the past. You cut the cord that connects you to past events. As long as you feel spiteful or vengeful about wrongs that were done to you, you are tied to those wrongs, like a dog on a leash. That leash will keep you from being able to move forward.

As long as you have this sense of spite, you will not be able to move forward into self-acceptance. You will still be fighting old battles. You need to let them rest. Let go.

You need to acknowledge your own weaknesses. No one is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes. You can put it behind you.

The past is irrelevent to who you are now and to who you will be in the future. You should be free from your own self-judgment and become free to love.

If you are your own villian, you must come face to face with your own misdeeds and have the courage to turn away from them, forgive yourself, renounce the power of your past and cut the cords of guilt.

Whether you know it or not, your "villians" succeeded in setting terms. You have agreed to put yourself down as much as possible, or to refrain from doing certain adventurous things, or to refuse to act confidently. By renouncing the power of the past, you are breaking that contract with the "villian". Try something new! Do something you would never have allowed yourself to do before! Go rebuild your personal story.

"It's hard to beat the system when you're standing at a distance..." - John Mayer

Become your own best friend! =)

- Thomas A. Whiteman, Ph.D. & Randy Petersen

* This entire blog minus some of my own words here and there was taken from "Becoming Your Own Best Friend" by Thomas A. Whiteman, PhD & Randy Petersen
I did not try nor intend for these to be my own words. FYI! I do not plagiarize.

February 13, 2008 - A Change of Lifestyle

So, you all that read my blogs know that I keep saying that nothing truly happens without personal transformation, right?
Well, it takes a lifestyle change literally to do that.

I have been trying some nights to do my yoga at home, but it just isn't the same as when i'm in class. And I have kind of been slacking off on my yoga lately. I could tell Monday night that I was out of shape. I just wasn't as flexible as I normally am and my joints were hurting. Yoga really helps me with my FMS. I swear by it! It really sux if I have to miss my classes. So from here on out, I can't miss class. I need those classes.

Tonight, I just lifted weights instead of climbing. My partners weren't there. It felt good to just lift weights. My friend Fred was there, and he showed me some great machines to work on for climbing and which muscles they would be good for. That helped a lot. I used to lift weights there a lot back in the day, but I quit the gym for a 4 year period or so. I just started back in 2006.

I just want to get stronger. I've just got to get in there every day. It has to be a lifestyle change and I want it. I feel bad for turning people down to do things, but working out and taking care of yourself is really a lifestyle change.

In March on St. Patty's weekend, I'll be at The Red River Gorge climbing with complete strangers. I love it! It is totally out of my comfort zone. I do those things because that's how I feel I will learn and grow. You don't learn anything by staying inside the box. If you step out of your comfort zone once in awhile, you may actually learn a few things...a few things about yourself and about other people too.

Also, the grotto I joined is planning a caving trip on March 8th. I will be caving for the very first time! Yay! I am so excited about it. March seems like my big month this year so far. March 1st weekend is my 101 climbing skills class, the next weekend, I will be caving, the next is climbing at The Red, and the last weekend I am volunteering at MED WAR.

My birthday is next weekend. I want to climb that weekend, but I'm not sure if that will come true for that weekend. I get a free day off from work, so feasibly I could climb 3 days in a row. The 22nd thru the 24th. Ugh!!! Please God! Let me be able to get out of town and climb!!!

I climbed the first weekend this month with Billy again. It was cool. We didn't get to climb much...it rained. But it was very cool hanging out with him again and just talking and just the simple fact of being able to get out of Columbia for the weekend was also great! :)

Getting out of town for the weekend is almost like a fairytale for me. But then the alarm clock goes off Monday morning, and it's back to reality and back to work.

February 5, 2008

I have recently met someone who truly inspires me.

I am nervous and giddy around him, yet at the same time totally comfortable.

He treats me with respect, and he has manners.

He is weird, like me. And he gets me. It seems anyways.

I can joke around and tell him anything. It seems nothing shocks him.

I'm attracted to him but totally afraid of him. He is an owner and totally lives outside of the box. It totally scares me but at the same time, it makes me want to be around him all the time. I want to be more like him. He inspires me.

Being around him makes me like myself more...because he is accepting of me. He doesn't judge me.

However, he is unattainable. Not that I am not a good person or good enough, but I am totally afraid of him. Why?

At the same time he is unattainable, I believe he is absolutely perfect for me. He is everything I want.

I'm just not sure that I am everything he would want. It's so hard to be rejected by someone so great and inspiring and so unattainable. I'm not trying to put him on a pedestal either.

I'll just have to wait.

My gut usually lets me know when something isn't right. A lot of the times I may not truly know what my gut is telling me, but for the most part, the only thing that matters is that it tells me something just isn't quite right. That's all one really needs to know. So far, my gut hasn't said a damn thing!!!

Ugh!

January 28, 2008

So, this weekend, I joined a caving grotto. Google it if you don't know what it is. Bascially, you have to join one to learn about caving and to get in on where all the caves are and to get the maps, etc. So, anyways, I joined up.

I'm really excited. After a five hour meeting and watching videos and filmstrip pics of this grotto's trips and such, I was really super excited about going on a caving trip soon. We went over the gear, etc. and clothing for a trip. It will most likely be a horizontal trip. However, my ultimate goal one day would be to go vertical. I need to build up a lot of endurance for a trip like that though. My endurance sux!

I lose a lot of weight when I do cardio. I have a very high metabolism. I am already skinny enough! (I lose a pound just from worry over bills, you know?) But a person's heart needs cardio. So, I will just have to eat way more calories, etc. Because I am starting a cardio routine now. It will start off slow and graduate to a harder work-out. I may look in shape, but I'm not when it comes to endurance, heart rate, etc. I have always hated cardio. But I have a new climbing partner that doesn't mind climbing with a beginner once and awhile, so I don't want to disappoint him. I want to be in shape and be able to get up these pitches and not have to rest on the approaches all the time, etc. I just want to give it my all. There is really no excuse for me not. And I also want to be able to do a vertical caving trip one day!!!

I just paid my deposit for the Rockclimbing 101 skills course coming up in March. I'm excited for that. I will learn more about knots, etc. and about anchoring a top rope. Even though I can't lead right now, I think it would be a good idea for me to learn everything I can. Not only so I know how to do it myself, but so that when I climb with others, I can know for sure we are all climbing safely. I don't want to climb with someone that doesn't climb safe. And if I don't know how to do these things, how will I know? Besides, there is a place called Crowder's Mtn. where you can hang top ropes w/o having to lead a climb.

Right now, I have put off the roller derby. It is way too expensive. There are leagues for so many things, and I have never heard of them being so expensive like this one. I just can't afford it...not when all the climbing stuff I want to do and buy is expensive! You know? I'm really digging the climbing so my money right now is going for that. Besides, we are going into a recession right now. I just want to focus on paying off some bills. I want to get 'em paid off and try to live a simpler life. That way, if one day, I decide hey...I'm moving to Cali...then i can w/o too many worries. ;-)
I think Cali (central coast area) is like my dream place to live. I don't want to live in one of the big cities either. I really liked central coast when I was there. Mountains and ocean! :)

That's all my news for now...

Peace,

Sue:)