"It's ok, Sue, you're just building character right now."

These were the words of my climbing partner to me after I'd finished my struggle to reach the belay station of the 3rd pitch of the Green Route (5.7 trad multi pitch) at Seneca Rocks, West Virginia in 2008.

Upon reaching the belay station, I was speechless.  I had many different and strange emotions going through my mind and my heart.  My partner (or rope gun rather) had asked me, "Are you alright?"  As soon as I heard his words, the tears came.  I felt embarrassed.  He immediately smiled and gave me a big hug.  I told him I had no clue why I was crying and that I felt really embarrassed.  I told him it was beautiful up there, and that I could not believe I made it.  It was a hard route, and I was scared.  Even though I was following and cleaning gear, I was really exposed.  It was a bit unnerving.  I also felt high and giddy.  I started laughing while i was crying.  I was excited, and it was all so beautiful up there.  I was so glad that pitch was done, and I wanted to be off of that mountain.  At the same time, I was elated to be up there.

I found a link today from Expand Outdoors, of course.
Strength of Tears

I wanted to share it.  It brought back so many moments I remembered of when I had cried in the outdoors.  It also brought back memories of when I have not cried and had been in similar or rather more unnerving situations.  Why cry in some and not others? 

I tend to cry when I have struggled for something so hard and finally reach my goal.  I have also cried when I was scared...and sometimes when things are just amazing.

Last summer, a friend and I went to the island of Kauai.  I had trained all summer long to hike the Kalalau Trail.  11 miles in and 11 miles out.  No loop.  It is an in and out trail.  22 miles total.  We decided to backpack it though.  We would hike 11 miles in and camp, spend the next day on the famous beach there and then hike 11 miles back.  Anyway, this would be the longest and farthest I'd ever hiked in one day.

The hike was gorgeous needless to say!  On mile 10, I was in a lot of pain.  My knees were killling me.  We had hiked downhill for 4 miles...steep sustained downhill. I have a tracking issue with my knee caps (lateral maltracking of the patella).  It is caused from muscular imbalances in the muscles surrounding the knee joint.  It is more of a condition rather than an injury.

At the end of mile 10, we reached the river.  There were campsites there.  We could go another mile to the beach and camp there.  Both of us were tired, frustrated, and we needed to rest and eat.  We decided to make camp there. It was already approaching 8 pm by the time we filtered our water. 

Before we made camp, I told my partner I needed 10 minutes.  I left him and found a big rock to sit on alone, and I cried.  I could not believe I had just hiked 10 miles of a very strenuous trail.  I couldn't believe I was on such an awesome vacation.  The beauty of Kauai!  And my knees hurt like hell!!!  I was in so much pain!  I never really trained for that much downhill.  My quads were weak too, and I knew nothing about the downhill.  Quads are the primary movers for downhill.  Thank God for Aleve!  Hahahaha

Anyway, I sobbed for about 10 minutes.  It felt really good.  After that, I was fine.  I just needed to get it out and not in front of Paul. I went back to camp and set up my tent and ate dinner with Paul.  He asked if I was ok, and I said yes.  That was it.  He knew what was going on but never brought it up again.

Sometimes a girl just needs a good cry!