live out loud

Since 2007, I have been on the quest to search for something large...larger than life...larger than myself. "Nothing happens without personal transformation." I wasn't happy with certain things in my life, and I wanted a change.

Some folks find comfort in themselves...and in things...external achievements. Success to them is how much money they make, that fancy car in their garage....their "title"...their status quo revolves around material things. Or it also can revolve around how greater at things they are over others. Some folks even go outside of themselves to learn instead of going inside. Inside is where it begins. Hiding behind all of those external achievements, in the long term, isn't going to get you anywhere. It only lasts short term. You can't hide for too long.

Lately, I've been in a funk. :(
I've been anxious, sad, down, moody, etc.

The only way to get out of it is to find something larger than myself.

I remember that feeling back in April of 2008 when I sky dived. I jumped out of an airplane, and even though I was falling so fast, it felt like time had stopped. I felt so small up there. I was nothing up there. It was as if nothing mattered anymore...none of my problems existed. Completely vanished. As i looked around and my breath was taken away, it felt magical. I was completely humbled that day! Beauty is around us...great things are amongst us.

I also remember my 2nd time out on the rock. My friend, Mark, took me climbing at Looking Glass in October 2007...he took me traditional climbing, multi-pitch up the Nose. It was hard. It was scary. It was beautiful up there. At the same time that I wanted to cry and come down, I wanted to laugh and scream out at the top of my lungs and jump for joy! I had never been so emotional (except for when it was that time of the month). Just like when I felt so small flying in the sky that day in 2008, I was utterly and completely humbled this day on The Nose at Looking Glass. I was so high up. The wind was whipping around me...the beautiful colors of the fall leaves...that feeling of accomplishment. I was high. High on life. I had found something way larger than myself.

I want to find that feeling again. I want to be humbled and moved. I want to surround myself with more positivity and less negative, unhealthy energy. I want more humbling experiences. I want simple.

There is a song out now by Rob Thomas. (I love him) I love the lyrics. I wanted to share them.
As I look inside to embrace learning, I want to reach for something larger than myself. I want to live my life out loud!

"You can go, you can start all over again
You could try to find a way to make another day go by
You can hide, hold all your feelings inside
You could try to carry on when all you wanna do is cry

And maybe someday we'll figure all this out
Try to put an end to all our doubt
And try to find a way to make things better now that
Maybe someday we'll live our lives out loud
We'll be better off somehow, someday

Now we wait and try to find another mistake
If you throw it all away then maybe you could change your mind
You can run, oh, and when everything is over and done
You could shine a little light on everything around you
Man, it's good to be someone

And maybe someday we'll figure all this out
Try to put an end to all our doubt
Try to find a way to make things better now that
Maybe someday we'll live our lives out loud
We'll be better off somehow, someday

And I don't wanna wait, I just wanna know
I just wanna hear you tell me so
Give it to me straight, tell it to me slow'

Cause maybe someday we'll figure all this out
We'll put an end to all our doubt
Try to find a way to just feel better now that
Maybe someday we'll live our lives out loud
We'll be better off somehow, someday'

Cause sometimes we don't really notice
Just how good it can get
So maybe we should start all over
Start all over again'

Cause sometimes we don't really notice
Just how good it can get
So maybe we should start all over
Start all over again